Forever & Ever Babe

2010-11-04T23:59:00.001+08:00

675 days, 96 weeks, 16,223 hours, 973,377 minutes, 58,402,620 seconds. It was unforgettable.

But like a waxed candle broken in half, the light will soon go off. The brightness that once lit my everyday - gone.
Who to blame but the watchman? For it was his duty to simply watch and care for the light. So treacherous is the soul of men that regret often comes too late. To treasure only when its lost, to cry only when its gone.

For one last good and the final act - I shall retire myself. Alas, to allow another who can do a better job.

But forever I shall remember; the light that once shone so brightly, etched deeply in my shattered heart.

2009-10-10T13:27:00.006+08:00

String of mistakes

There once lived a young prince who thought he knew what he wanted in life. His goal was a simple one - to learn how to become a benevolent king and one day succeed or even out-do his father.

Though he had his ups and downs when he was younger, lady luck had managed to protect him; once, his folly almost cost him his right to the throne. But after that experience he finally settled down and got his focus in life.

He worked hard and kept pushing himself to fulfil the potential he knew he had. Life seem to look-up for the young prince. Councils that used to scorn him started to see him as someone worthy of kingship. He arose in favour of many and victories came easily for him.

As he grew in stature, so did the expectations. More than anything, his own expectations on himself started to take its toll. He was never good in confiding and was a master of bearing his burdens on his own.

Now he seems to be at a cross-road. Fighting for things that used to be important and thinking of dreams that appear so far away. Will he one-day be a benevolent king? Or will he falter like the many that has gone before him?

tobecontinued.....

2009-08-07T00:16:00.003+08:00

Good just ain't good enough.

Right, school is starting in 2 weeks. All the assignments, classes, project meetings and presentations are coming back! Am I ready to go? You bet I am. But am I nervous? Yes, very much!!!

Expectations is the key thing. Worried that you won't be able to do as well as the last year. So many things just might go wrong. But well, life still goes on doesn't it?

It has been a fulfilling summer, I would dare say. I took my last 2 ACCA papers, done up my citizenship stuff, got my license, started CFA classes and most of all went to be part of her life in Bond for a week.

As the years go by, you really do realize that time just doesn't wait for no one. When I was still a teen, nothing changed much as I grew older year on year - my parents still looked the same, my house is still my house and everything just seems slower.

But now, its like the dawning of the new era. With some of your friends already working, you tend to wonder whether this is even real. In a short 3 years, your official studying years are gone! No longer a student but an adult part of society. And your parents - its as if they aged by 10 years in the past year. They seem old and frail all of a sudden.

It makes you treasure them more. Makes you wanna go out to work and support them. To give them what they gave you during your carefree years. To tell the truth, I'm afraid. I'm afraid that one day, before I've even taken care of them enough, they'll no longer be by my side.

There're so many things I wanna do with them. So much expression of love that I wish to convey to them. Due to the lack of courage and time however, I just can't seem to finish doing all of them. I really don't wanna regret anything. I simply can't imagine them leaving me.

There are too many uncertainties to know what your life will be 10 or even 5 years down the road. Yes you do have plan; to marry at 28, to get your MBA before 29, to earn a million by 30. If there's one thing I learnt in these 22 odd years, God just knows better.

Is that a good enough reason to not have goals? To simply live without dreaming? To just take anything life throws at you and not do anything about it?

How I wish it worked like that. I'll probably just sit around all day waiting for some dumb rabbit to hit the tree. (Its some Chinese idiom, yes I do remember what I learnt in Chinese lessons.) A life like that is definitely not worth living. If its hard for you to imagine, just think of a hamster in a cage.

Dreams and goals give you hope. But what life throws at you to shatter your hopes, now that's what gives you strength. The strength to tell yourself, "alright boy, it this doesn't work, let's just try another route."

tothem,forbeingthebestasoncanaskfor.

2009-07-24T02:39:00.002+08:00

Questions

Snoresss. I can't seem to wake up early anymore! Feel so tired when I wake up before 11. Even though I sleep for more than eight hours.

This and next week are extremely important! I have four things that I hope to accomplish - Driving, Bidding, Dental and Passport. Please God, be nice and sweet to me!!!!

Kenneth got Torres' signature today. He is like a little boy who just got a mega huge ice-cream from mommy!!!! Well done mate! haha, you earned it with your fanaticism. Frame it up and sell it in ten years time!!

You can't imagine how lucky and fortunate I feel. You always seem to be able to make me smile. And you always make a normal day so interesting!!! I simply love talking to you.

butiknowforsure,that'swhatthey'lleverbe.

2009-07-23T01:43:00.001+08:00

BOSS

SMU is probably the best school in the world. 'Cos even during the summer, they have activities all lined up for you - like bidding on the BOSS system for your mods!

I've been bidding for 3 weeks now. And these 3 weeks are even more stressful than the 14 weeks I have in school!!! The initial timetable that I drew up for myself totally did not work out at all!

I have currently none of the mods that I need to fulfil my double degree. The only consolation being that I managed to bid for CT at 10 and got my FA. I really can't believe I missed out on MPW. The school opened a new class just before the last window closed and I just didn't bid for it.

I really do feel extremely disappointed and worried that I might not even be able to apply for my double degree at this rate. Things just ain't going my way. And this being the last window for BOSS 1, I am safe to say, lost. I feel helpless 'cos there is no one i can ask help or advice from. The fact that there are no slots for MPW or MS is slowly destroying any hopes of getting my double.

But luckily she is there to hear me out. And knowing she'll be back in 29 days also helps a whole lot! Now I can only pray that more slots come in during BOSS 2 and that I can actually successfully bid for it.

Went prawning with Ruth and Kenneth today. Its fun, but I'll prefer fishing any day. Not to mention its over-priced!!! $30 for 3 hours just doesn't add-up. Ruth whipped up quite a dinner for us. With mac & cheese, her special chicken wings and boiled prawns. But I guess I was just too bothered with bidding to have fun with them today.

I miss her so much.

2009-05-04T02:26:00.002+08:00

Grade Point Average

Probably three words that you won't be familiar with until you come to SMU.

And these three words will become an obsession once you're actually part of the system.

It's finally the summers and I've managed to survive through the first year.

To say the least, life has been neither bad nor good. I've met a few good people along the way.

I still remember my very first class in SMU - Management Comms (up till now I still call it Mass Comm). There were like 3 Sosci people and a whole load of scholars. But I managed to meet the first good person, Mr Jiang KeJia "Huntelaar". He was and still is a great person to hang out with. Thank God for his friendship.

Then along the way, I met Mr Marcus "Aurelius Maximus Titaninus" Lee. I met hm during camp but really got to know him only this semester when I took 2 Mods with him. Studied with this crazy guy for this term's finals. Don't worry, next term, we'll both get straight As!!!!

Results were good. At least my hard work paid off. The pressure to maintain it really starts next semester. I'm really just praying for the best. I almost screwed up one of my mods. And yes, I am still very disappointed in myself.

So frail is the human mind. But I do hope I came out of this a stronger person. Now only time can tell.

andthebestthingofall-ifoundyou.

2009-03-15T00:07:00.003+08:00

Troubled Times

The thing about life is that the simplest of things can throw everything into chaos.

The toughest thing is that I don't expect anyone to understand so I won't bother telling.

How fragile the structure of families nowadays.

I just don't know what i can do any further.

The system that i so used to threatens to crumble.

And I want to give up.

Forgotten

2009-01-05T23:06:00.002+08:00

New Beginnings

Yes Ruth, I'm updating now. haha. It's 2009.And the year has been filled with good things thus far. In fact very good things.
But in a few days, it's gonna hurt real bad. Fate has a funny way of messing with you. I'm convinced that it's just out to irritate me. As soon as you've found something good, it slips away and leaves a sort of shrewd emptiness within you.
Well let's talk about 2008 first shall we? An executive summary:
It was like any other years of my life, full of ups and downs. Well for one I'm glad i survived my first semester of SMU. Thank you Jesus. But i did screw certain aspects of it up. CFA for one is a known goner. And i know i hurt some people one way or another. I might never get a chance to tell them the truth or say a simple sorry. Isn't that what life is about? Regrets. We live to try and prevent the same ones from happening.
Like the financial meltdown that hit the world, I'm in a little crisis myself. My easy spending nature has finally caught up with me. My savings have been wiped clean. But one thing God has taught me, he is a God of "more than enough!". As such, i hereby declare all debts that are owed to me cleared. 'Cos God will provide no matter what - like the saying goes, "it's better to give than to receive."
The main focus for this year, in fact for every year since i started primary school, are my grades. Well, i did fairly well. Not fantastic, there is always room to improve right?, but not terrible at the same time. There were one or two surprises. And I'm give all glory to Him and Him alone. Trust me, it wasn't by my own strength but God's grace that i got what i got.
As for relationships, i guess as you grow old, you tend to recognise the importance of family. Even though it has been far from perfect, i would never switch my family for anyone elses's. Life just won't be as interesting. Close friends are also key to surviving rough times. It's sad that i haven't really added to my collection of worthy friends. Maybe I'm just too critical or maybe i just don't wanna try. Not very sure myself. But, i know that no matter what, i will always have that core group that i can depend on to a large degree.
The most important relationship of them all is with God. That department has to improve a whole lot this year. I have been "naughty" for most of the year. And it's time i be "nice" cos i know that no love is greater than His love.
Personally, i felt i have grown this past year. Inch by inch, i have began to envision the future i want for myself. And i have realised that somethings mean so much more than others. Yes, i am maturing. But i hope i don't just become another face in the crowd and end up a boring old man in an average life.
Now now, it is customary to have New Year Resolutions right?
Before that, Ruth remember the cup you gave me in '07? haha. i still have it. And I'm proud to say i completed all of it. Even the most difficult one!!! *wink*
For 2009:
1) Going to Church every Friday and Sunday.
2) Pray everyday.
3) Stop sleeping during sermon.
4) Exercise to remove that "3 layered fats".
5) Study early and not procrastinating!
6) Learn to appreciate my family more.
7) Learning to save.
8) Keep my room neat!!!!
9) Bless my close friends whenever i can.

We shall see in a few months time aye?

itearedwhenirealisedhowfaryou'llbe.

2008-12-01T23:51:00.002+08:00

Like Gold.

Day 1 of "Salvage CFA". Haha. Studying in the library with a 2 hour loan limit on the guide book is not a good idea at all!!!! Every 2 hours i have to hurry and finish off my last sentence, rush to the book drop to return the book (incurring a $3/hr fine otherwise!!!) and wait for the librarian to check-in the book and return it to the shelf. Then I'll go borrow it for another 2 hours and the cycle starts all over again!
I did it 3 times today! Even the librarian knows me already. haha.
I deduced that 3-4pm is my sleepy period. I could barely keep awake man!!!! I finished 50 smith sweets today trying to do just that.
Oh man, this year is coming to an end!!! And i'm so glad i have lots of things to look forward to!!! CFA exams on the 7th, Nepal from the 8th to 16th, Mambo Jumbo on the 17th, Christmas production from the 24th to 25th, Malaysia from the 27th to 30th and count-down on the 31st!!!! WOOOHOOOOO, how bout that for a term break! haha.
The only things missing is a good 90 min of hard-core field action and a couple of qing-taos to go along!!!
Next year will be a chance to regroup! (that's what i say every year. haha) But next year will also be a time when lots of very very close friends leave. Wonder how different life would be without them. My circle of friends is thinning every so often. haha.
It just seems so difficult to find really good friends as you grow older. Your tolerance for other's incompetence lowers as you age. Ok, maybe its just me. haha. But there is that occasional jewel of a find. When you start talking to someone and its as if you've known each other for the past decade. And the strange thing is, as you develop a deeper relationship, you find that both of you seem to be mirror images of each other - crazy weird habits that you thought no one else shared, quirky hobbie that you barely dare to disclose and even hunger for the same kindda food.

andasiknowyoumoreyou'llbeleavingverysoon.

2008-11-23T22:36:00.002+08:00

1 More Day to Exams.

Yes, the supplies have been stocked up, the troops properly geared and prepared - all ready for the first battle.
Psychology and BGS are the battles that I'll be most confident entering. If nothing unusual happens, Political Science should be a relatively hit and run job. But the worrisome one comes Tuesday when i meet with the "700 mark" foe - Economics. There appears to be little i can do to face this enemy. Any amount of training would seem futile.
God willing, I'll survive my first war. I still got about 7 more to go. That is presuming i choose to continue in this 4 year fight.
I must admit, there is thought of just fleeing. I would be foolish if i deceived myself that it is in part due to my lack of confidence in my first sem. But above that, it is down to the lack of relevance that i see myself doing rght now. There is so much that i could have achieved if only my yesteryear's were more cherished.
Alas, the real question will be - "To follow my heart or to be where it'll hurt my family's pocket least." Monetary concerns ain't the only thing stopping me from going overseas to study. Four, even three years, seems like a long time to leave everything behind. To be honest, i can't bear to let my family fight all alone in these turbulent times. Even if me being here wouldn't help much, I'm sure my mere presence will put that smile on my parent's face.
And there's that nagging feeling of remorse; or rather pride. That i left because i was not brave enough to adapt to a difficult environment. I know that even if i graduated with only a social science degree, no double in biz or even a second finance major, i will be able to work in the field that i want to. Is a potential waste of 4 years of my life justifiable of me attempting to beat the odds?
I wonder goes on. What are in the thoughts? A gradual denial of disillusionment that all of this was just me. Did i not recognise the signs that things are simply not what i pictured it to be? Man, for one ain't really good at guessing emotions. Confusion leads to inaction, and soon it might all fade away. But like a cemented principle, all that matters....

isthatyouleadthebestpossiblelife.

2008-11-15T14:33:00.003+08:00

Day 1

This is crunch week. 9 days of pure mugging. In an attempt to salvage my GPA and CFA. haha. Can't say I'm surprised. I almost always leave it till late. God willing, i will pull out another miracle! Lord Jesus please help me!
1st semester has just zoomed pass. Last day of school was marked by utter disappointment in terms of my econs project. The presentations was so badly done and the report was torn into bits by my prof. I still can't believe i missed those points that my prof brought up. And it would seem that he saw nothing good in our entire project. But i respect his decision and grading. 'Cos i truly believe he's way to smart to be a prof. He should be doing something to change the world. A pure genius really.
I felt like crap the whole day. And as usual i didn't show the extent of it to anyone. There's always a bi part of me that don't wanna drag others into my own sorrows. I guess my way out is to simply ignore everything and just spend those painful hours with people that know nothing about the situation. That way i can simple laugh and pretend nothing ever happened.
I slept for a good 13 hours. HAHAHAHAHAH. Its been a long time since i was able to do that. It felt extremely sinful and good at the same time. Hopefully this will give me the impetus to carry on the next 9 days.
There comes a time when you know you ain't the best person for the job. As much as you want to deny it, someone else seems to be better at it. When you're a stand-up comedian, what good is it when you can no longer bring joy or happiness to your audience? When even the guy who introduces you causes more laughter. Maybe at a different time and place you would have done much better. But the thing is, the future isn't looking that bright anymore.

ineedtoknow.

2008-11-11T20:45:00.002+08:00

Born Again

At certain times in life you're sure to be at cross-roads. Decisions that you know will shape what life would be like in the future. Precisely due to its significance, the decision is never easy. There are just so many things that you have to consider.
You could say i am at a Cross-road now. And true to being me, i choose not to tell anyone but the special few. There is still quite some time before i will make my final decision but day and night it sticks at the back of my head.
I guess everyone likes to feel special and wanted. People also tend to engage in activities that make them feel unique and basically "them". Its the same for how men choose their social partners or rather friends. They will definitely not bother with people who make them feel small and useless. But at the other end of the spectrum, only a few of us will be willing to be with people who seem completely ignorant and incompetent - even though it makes them appear relatively "smart".
The phrase "birds of a feather flock together" can't be any more true. We form social circles with people that we can have intellectual relationships with, amongst other reasons. Lets just concentrate on that for today. There must be a certain level of intellectual similarity for fruitful relationships to occur. I'm not just talking about academics or level of education. But rather that inner wisdom and expressive form of a person's character.
Inner wisdom though to a slight extent increases as you have a higher level of education, but most of it is how you have lived your life. I believe that inner wisdom comes from your experiences in life, people that you meet, places that you've travelled to and even hobbies that you undertake. Have you ever met with someone who is supposedly very smart academically but who can't even make simple sense of logical daily occurrences? That might be a little hard to imagine, which brings me nicely to my next point.
The "expressive form". No matter how much you've read or researched or been through in life, if you can't use it to adapt to social interactions, you're just not very smart in my eyes. Picture that straight A student who aced his history paper but is not one bit fascinated by how history has path us to what we are today. Picture that professor (no i am not referring to anyone in particular) who has all the PhDs in the world but can't hold a decent conversation with anyone.
The importance of academic excellence is nonetheless extremely important in our world today. But the focus cannot be solely on it. Society must shift some of our emphasis to nurture ourselves as "social beings"; to make use of what we learnt and simply take notice, appreciate the complex beautiful nature of life on earth!
Life is good. i can't stress more upon that point.
Late at night, everyone wants to know that there's that someone who thinks about them. To know that they are indeed still wanted - by a parent, a friend or even that special someone. Everyone wants to know, guess work just don't work after awhile.

theneedtoknow.

2008-11-06T22:49:00.002+08:00

SecondsPastBy

Even in these dark times, i thank God for the many who noticed and showered words of encouragement. Don't worry, I'll survive no matter what. Though the whole rationale of why i am where i am right now is still a big question mark to me. I will trust Him.
I know i have drifted. I know i am making the same mistakes as before. But what else can i look towards hope for? It seems like i am fighting this unknown and overwhelming foe. Not that there is no one there for me. Its just that some fights must be dealt out by yourself. And for this fight only a few will ever comprehend.
Have you ever felt so much for something that you actually thought it belonged to you? Like how some of us guys support a team so much that even though they know not of your existence, whatever happens to them mean the world to you? But the truth of the matter is that you never really had it. No matter how much joy or tear that you shed for the team, they really don't care and never will know. So can you really say you lost something you never had. Yes that is an odd dilemma won't you say?

crunch.

2008-11-06T00:17:00.002+08:00

Indifference

First sem is coming to an end. And so are my lofty ambitions at the start of the term. Strategic mishaps and a very itchy pair of hands caused my downfall. But well, life still goes on and you make the best out of it right?
Blah blah blah. Alright lets stop making excuses and try to salvage the darn situation now. I screwed up and its time to get myself back on-track as much as possible. I still have time. As long as i still have one day before the 7th, i will not give up!
Sometimes, when you're in an environment where you need to beat the rest and become the best, it really does suck! Come to think of it, isn't that true for everywhere that we go? At home, we try to be the best son/daughter, in school we try to be the top student and at work we want to be the elite worker. Stupid humans and their stupid competition. No doubt it makes you sharp and forces you to improve, but you do get sick of it after awhile. Can't we just relax for a moment and not think of how to destroy the person that you're smiling to??
I'll play along for now. Cos i still have a long long way to go in life. I just pray that there will always be an avenue where the reality of life ceases to exist. However or whoever the avenue maybe, in time i will discover.
A lack of gratitude plagues our world. Maybe its just a generation thing. Or it might just be that certain people just don't see the need for it. The ability to "put yourself in someone else's shoe" seems like an ancient trait. I feel devastated that it has come to this. Sooner or later, the feeling will just fade away with the wind. There isn't much point in trying to change something that simply isn't.

givingupin10seconds.

2008-10-20T22:51:00.004+08:00

Act 1

Says it all. Sinking to new depths. And fast. Deadlines and disappointments. Adrenal rush or sure way to depression?

Looking toward emotional stability. Brink of tears and becoming deranged.

Need to breathe. Missed my strokes, and didn't come up for air. Arrogance on my part. Self-reliant on my human strength. Never fails to show me otherwise.

Palpitations and crankiness. Immersed to become just another face in the crowd.

IwillSurvive.

2008-10-16T01:13:00.002+08:00

A Dream

Just finished supper with the gang of 4. Its these little things in life that keep you going. Humans simply can't survive just by themselves. We can't face 4 walls the whole day long. I must add, quality of company is of utmost significance - quantity is of total irrelevance.
I guess there is truth in "No man is an island." But there are days when you just wanna be by yourself and "reflect" on your life so far. These are the times when you really grow and move in your journey of life.
I wonder what exactly is the final stage of "self-enlightenment". When can we truly say that we have achieved our purpose in life. In fact, how can we understand our purpose in the first place. Can it be that we have a few purposes? Each for the different persona that we carry in our daily life. Maybe its being a filial son, a caring brother, a pious Christian, a religious student or maybe its simply a righteous man.
What about the role of other people in your own path to self-enlightenment? Parents probably play the biggest part when you were young - telling you what you should do when you grow up, how you should treat strangers and other socially accepted norms. Even enemies can lay the path-way for you. Learning how not to live your life through the actions of people that constantly gets on your nerves. Like the other day when 6 "wonderful" individuals decided to push me on their way into an already packed train. In addition to not apologizing for their morning stint, they were happily congratulating themselves for managing to get in. And did i add they had this distinct aroma???? I mean they could have simply waited for the next darn train, or the least they could was to say a simple "excuse me" right?
Right, back to myself. I'm actually starting to feel numb towards some stuff. I feel disgraced that our social fabric has degraded to such a stage. Is it really true that the more educated you become the more self-centred you are? Even for myself, i've been far more concerned about my own well-being since entering uni. I find certain relationships dispensable and many activities that i used to enjoy in the past simply not important anymore. And the behavior that i witness day-in and day-out in my campus is becoming routine. I fully agree that being competitive is a super duper good thing! But i definitely do not condone to people putting others down just to get a better grade for themselves. Or sulking publicly over their own grades which are in fact better than the majority. This just makes me wanna go work in a farm or rear cows in the country side!
Don't people realise how ugly they are sometimes? I propose that we all wear a little video camera on a cap. So that we can record how we act and replay it in the night. I bet you'll hear everyone either bursting out in laughter ("Did i actually say such an idiotic thing?") or gasping in shock ("Crap, that's actually me?").
Maybe its just me. Or maybe the world left me behind a long long time ago. But i'm glad i still can know when i've been an idiot and when i've screwed something up. At least i try to be a proper being, and live life instead of existing in one.

thatwasnevermeanttobe.

2008-10-11T02:00:00.002+08:00

Oath of Renunciation

Recess week is more or less gone. And i don't even know what i've done. Everyone is mugging. So must i!!!!!
5 years down the road, i'll be 26. That's super old!!!! And i would have finished Uni and hopefully started working in some decent place. My sister would be in J1!!! OH MY!!!!! She'll probably be having her puppy love. And if something went wrong i'll be the one going down to pound that guy into bits. haha, nononono i'm a peaceful guy.
I wonder how many times men can make the same mistakes over and over again. And to commit the mistake for the same darn reason each time, it should be considered an art!! And thought as a major in philosophy.
I'm still coughing. Stupid throat. I look like an old man now. My neck hurts, knee hurts and non-stop coughs. Please don't take pity on me. I still can go in for tackles if i choose to!!! haha. Ok that was a little random. I think i'm just born this way. Injury-prone! Never mind, God is fair. But i do hope my other side of the coin will surface soon!

Fluttered. And i know i lost again.

2008-10-09T22:29:00.002+08:00

Teh-Ci KOSONG!

Hung over, crappy feeling, pounding headache but night filled with clean crazy fun! Went to mambo yesterday. We were there early, but not early enough. Stupid crowd at zouk gettin' very ridiculous. Ryan was the first to reach at 2045. And guess what, the queue was already all the way at the "vallet parking" there already. Me, Teck and Koh arrived at 9, Zhi and Andrew at 930 and Ngiam at 1030! In short, the girls didn't get the phuture stamp. So we all had no choice but to dance it out mambo style!!!
There was lots of drinking, meeting random people and cramped up dancing! Despite all of that, the company was wonderful. We laughed, did all the crazy stuff and took lots of "unglam" shots!
Ok, we did manage to sneak into phuture for the last 30min. And left only when they played the final song "low". I slept at 5-6plus and woke up at 8!!!!!!! 'Cos i had a meeting with my prof. haha. My parents thought i was outta my mind when thy saw me in the morning.
I was quite surprised that i even managed to bathe properly, squeeze with th morning crowd, buy breakfast and get there on time!!! Impressive i tell you. The meeting went very well. Our group managed to more or less be in-line with what Prof Francis had in mind! He seems pretty pleased that we did our job before meeting him. Credit goes to all of us!!! I think we all put i lots of effort and worked well as a team.
Right, now i'll attempt to study. Wonder how long i'll even last??? haha.

everytime

2008-10-07T23:32:00.002+08:00

Part of me.

Just had dinner/supper with kok hong, fel koh, zhi, ruth and andrew. It was a very nice time. Been awhile since such a big number of us gathered for anything. I miss spending time with my close friends. So many people i have yet to meet for a long time. Ryan, Chu, Kenneth, Gillian, Ash, Meng Yang and so so so many more. There are also friends like Cheow Sheng and Jody that are overseas now. Friends are truly gifts from God. Without them, life will just be a meaningless journey.
That said, family is often neglected and taken for granted. I thank God that as i grew older, i realised the importance of close family ties. At least i still have fun with my Dad, Mom and Sister from time to time. And we actually talk whenever we see each other. I pity those families that can go on days without talking. Personally, at the end of the day, family will be the ones that will stand by you no matter what.
There is so much that you want to achieve in life. Someone asked me what my "life-long dream" is. Material substances might seem the most apt answer. I can think of so many things that i really want to have - a SLK sports car, summer home in California, season ticket to Old Trafford's VIP box, taking a picture of every capitol in the world and the list goes on. But deep down what i really want is a nice warm family to come home to, a group of close friends that I'll sip coffee with in my golden years and a entourage of happy memories of my journey in life. In short, i yearn to live and not only exist; to look back and say "Gordon, great job."

inaclubwithyouin1973

2008-09-21T04:17:00.002+08:00

Chasing

It was a productive Saturday!!! I think studying with as small a group as possible is the only way that any studying can be done. I managed to finish my comm 101 assignment and do up my presentation slides for psych in a mere 3 hours. I was in school the whole practical day today. Had psych meeting till 11pm.
Then i went for Ryan's 21st "bash" at some pub near school. hahah. Thank you "Xianyu" for driving me there. So sweet of her! Ryan was already half gone by the time i was there. The usual track guys plus Gimson and some other friends were there with him. I could tell he really appreciated all of our presence there tonight.
Only this morning he was still wondering whether or not to call the whole thing off. But bro, remember no matter what there'll always be people there for you man. And i might not meet-up with you that often now that uni has started, but we're still as tight as before!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE!!!!
He was totally wasted by the time we decided to leave at 4am. Sprouting nonsense all the way and puking like a million times!!! The highlight was when Chinglee started to sing the Hokkien song and got cut off half way. With the boss going "Sorry we don't play hokkien songs here." HAHAHAHAH. He was totally stunned.
It would seem that old habits really do die hard. In a soccer match, when you decide as a defender to go up for the corner thinking you'll score that header - alas, it just wouldn't happen for you. The ball is close and the goal seems unguarded. But it simply won't go in. Soon you'll have to decide whether to go back to your own half or hang around a little longer hoping for a miracle. I tried hanging around in a previous match. But when the final whistle was blown, i knew i made the wrong choice. Will i make the same mistakes again?

The Untouchable Dream.

2008-09-14T23:36:00.003+08:00

Rock Band

I am truly blessed with a bunch of really really great friends. They've stuck by me for many many years and i'm very sure it'll be may more wonderful years ahead. Thank you so much guys! The present was a bit too much for me - *tears* haha. But i had great great fun. I owe you all a BIG BIG one man!
And I'm still sick. Throat is freaking on fire and mucus just keeps flowing out. Fever is pretty much gone but i still feel hot sometimes (wait, ain't i hot always???). I really pray that I'll recover by tomorrow. 'Cos if i don't it'll be a hell of a week for me in terms of catching up with work. And i need to squeeze in time for CFA. Gosh, stresssss.
But i love it! haha. I don't get things done unless its stressful. So it suits me perfectly. I'll have much more time in bout 3 weeks 'cos most of my tuition kids would have finished their final exams. And i pray to God that he guides these little ones and me to impart the right knowledge to them! Especially for my sister who is taking her PSLE this year. She has surprised me with the improvement she has made in the past few months. Though i don't show it to her lest she gets corky like me!!! Haha, but I'm proud of her. She might not be the brightest but at least she still acts her age. I can't stand kids nowadays who try to act as if they're 10 years older than they really are. Perpetually screaming for freedom and acting emo when they can barely care for themselves. It irks me when children think they're the king of the world just because their parents give them whatever they want. The worst is when they don't even realise that they're in such a safe environment like Singapore, and insist that they are too constricted. Bloody fools. Parents need to take some of the blame too. 'Cos of a much smaller family nucleus, they treat their offspring like "little emperors". Not wanting to discipline them and going down hard on them when situation calls for it. Heed this advice parents, if we continue like that, our society's much treasured values and morals will disappear into oblivion soon enough.
Don't you hate it when you don't even know why you like something?? Like a small little voice in you sparks off an unreasonable obsession -that compels you to strive for it no matter the costs? I need to learn to control these sudden urges. Especially when competition is so high!!! Which would definitely mean high risk and low returns. HAHAHAHHAHA. Talk bout the accountant in me -must always watch your bottom line! Its better to lose an arm then to delay and lose your life. *serious deliberation* But then, sometimes in life its about these mindless desires; they're what makes things so much more interesting. We shall see if i choose to pursue any further. Only time can tell.

ineedtobelieveagain!

2008-09-13T22:07:00.002+08:00

Fall From Glory

Man Utd lost. And not only that they played pretty crappily. To add to that, i had a fever going on for the entire day. Talk about a bad day.
"because you had a bad day. you're taking one down. you sing a sad song just to turn it around."
Haha, randomness. Well at least i got to play tennis with Fel & Jere today! That kok hong pang seh us. haha But i don't blame him. I'm sure we'll get to play another time!
I was like Federer today!!! Nah, far from it in fact!!! Managed to "home-run" one ball out onto the road. Hit a few good shots but seriously need to play more often to improve. My budget racket was pretty nice to use!!! And my budget shoes too. I did look and even "sound" the part. But...... haha
School work is starting to pile to a shit load high. Procrastination is the main culprit. But i could blame it a little on events - like my Birthday, my friend's birthdays, soccer and illnesses. In the end, its still down to my ineffective time management and ultra skill in time-wasting. haha. Sigh, when will i ever change?!?!?!??!
Relationships are starting to blossom. And everyone around me seems to be chasing or liking someone!!! My goodness, the pressure is on man. But i just can't get onto the band-wagon. The fact of the matter is, i'm just way too lazy and comfortable at status quo to want to do anything about it. haha. I do respect and admire my friends who have lasted through army together. Namely Jere & Fel, Ken & Seok and the many other couples. I think they really put in a lot of effort and they're certainly reaping the rewards now!!! Way to go people!

Ifandonlyif

2008-09-11T23:26:00.003+08:00

Final Few Minutes!

Its my birthday!!! haha. And not only that, its my 21st!!! woohoooo. It was a great birthday. Every year seems to be different. Some friends came and some went away, but the same old faithful gang is always there.
People that love you and care for you are really the ones that make this day special. Even if i got a car and a house for presents, without the people laughing and sharing the joy with me - It just won't be the same.
So this is for everyone who made this day a truly special one. THANK YOU!!!! And Kok Hong i totally didn't expect the watch. Its really really lovely. If i were any more emotional, you could have seen tears. haha. That was pretty gay. But yes, i treasure friendships alot!!! The top-tier theory. (Meng Yang will know what I'm talking about)
There's one more person that i wanna extend my heart-felt gratitude to - My Mother. To me, she is the epitome of love. The man that i have become today is all down to her. My passion, my will and my entirety. I love you mom!

stillhopingandlookingforyou

2008-09-07T23:11:00.009+08:00

Let Fate Take Her Route

Yes, it was a resounding success. The venue was great, the food was just right and the people were uber fun!!! Many thanks to the organising comm - Ruth, Faith, Andrew and Ashley (for the all important keys! and for entertaining me in the afternoon) And also to the many who came down early to help out in one way or another - Ryan, Meng Yang, Kenneth and Ash (though i know you didn't do anything!!! hahah. But thanks so much for coming down early) And most importantly a BIG thank you to Ruth's Mother, my mom and Kok Hong's siser for preparing the food!!!!! Well not forgetting everyone who made itdown to share the day with me and those who tried their very best o make it but couldn't, i appreciate it nonetherless. Enough of words, here are just a fraction of the pictures taken on Saturday!!!

Our Families!

We all got thrown in at the start.....

15/04 & 4E1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The House Friends!

"The Family"

What Can I Say? Bliss

Serangooners!

The Big Guy!!!

Old Old Friends

Red DevilS!

4 More Years of Crazy Fun!

I Chart My Own.

2008-09-05T00:17:00.002+08:00

Soccer Kid Turns 21

Yes, i am turning 21. Its amazing how fast i grew up. Just 4 odd years ago i was even wondering if i could make it into a local uni. Then just a year later i was praying for time to past by really quickly. And now here i am, standing at a cross-road. The vast sea of opportunity awaits me. And yet, i feel so unprepared. Not knowing what i would do with life and who i would spend it with. Uncertainties are at an abundance.
But like all college students, i just wanna have fun for these 4 years!!!! Though i still do care about my future, i understand that these are my last few years as a student and a non-working person.
The concern now is this Saturday. As usual, everything that i have to plan is always last minute. (except for stuff that i plan for others. haha... disclaimer) I just finished a meeting in my room with the head org, Ruth, and the other main character, kok hong. Everything looks like it is being taken care off. There's just always this feeling that we missed something out and that Sat is going to be a flop. But even if the roof falls down on us, i know we're gonna have a great time. Cos its spent with people that i label as fun!!!!
School has been extremely difficult this week. It was largely due to the fact that i was ill from Sunday onwards. I had fever on Monday and Tuesday. For the first time i continued to go to school despite the illness. So darn proud of myself!!! hahaha, i didn't "chou keng". But surprisingly i was able to do my readings adequately, though not completely, to survive through classes. And the Econs project was just a pain in the neck. We couldn't come up with a decent topic to start with. But hopefully the one we submitted was ok. *fingers crossed*
As for soccer, i skipped Tuesday's training for obvious reasons. And just today the SUNIG squad was announced. And as expected my name was not one of the 22. Howard got in though!!!! So proud of him. Apart from him i think only 3 other year ones entered. Well, i tried my best. Guess it just wasn't good enough. I probably can blame it on lack of match fitness and knee injuries. But honestly, even if i was fully fit and ready, i doubt i would have gotten in. All the best guys!!!

Disappointment?

2008-08-26T21:00:00.002+08:00

Its Coming!!!!

Yes, my 21st bash is indeed arriving very soon. And now i understand the headache of drawing up the guest list. There are so many people that i want to invite. But at the same time so many limitations - Firstly, i don't want to invite people who won't know may others in the party. So that would mean my friends whom i usually just hang out one on one would not be invited. Instead i'll probably go dinner with them sometime. In which case, some of you will receive my smses soon!!! haha. Another limitation is the fact that my bash is a combine with Kok Hong's 21st. So as a compromise we both will only invite our major cliques to the party. Man that really sucks. haha. But no choice, hope the rest understands!
On my side, is mostly my AJC class, the "come to Gordon's house to chill" gang and my SMU socsci people. Hope the party will turn out well!!!! And i still can't believe i'm turning 21. haha. Bloody old i've become!
My new hero is number 18 Paul Scholes!!! He was brilliant in yesterday's match. Actually he has always been a fantastic player. Just that yesterday the commentator was some "pro-scholes" guy and kept pointing how calm and intelligent he is. So i begin to really notice how he moves and try to learn his style of playing. And true to the word, he is truly a master-class. His positioning and off-the ball running is fantastic. And how he releases the ball at just the right moment and constantly finds his man is too accurate to be humanly. Goodness, just let me be 40% of him!!!! hahah.
Study study study, readings readings and more readings. Uni life is so different compared to other levels of education. For one, i'm putting alot more effort and consistent work just to survive!!! But at least i like what i'm studying and find it useful. And thank God that i met a bunch great people in my faculty!!! They're just a wonderful bunch to be around with, both work and during play.
I'm totally tennis crazy now. haha. But ironically i haven't been able to really play tennis these days!!! Every time i play, it'll freaking rain!!!! Anyone who wants to go play please do call me along. haha.
And talking about sports, i've got a match on Friday. SMU vs SIM. I skipped training yesterday 'cos my knee haven't really healed yet. I decided to buy a "patella band" and special in-soles to support my arch. Hopefully it'll help in preventing future injuries to my left knee. And i'm also gonna play soccer this Sat, turf at East Coast. Apparently, there is a SMU-wide prof's cup coming up on the day of my party, 6th September. So we're gonna train!!! haha. Been awhile since i played there. And i'm playing keeper this time. New challenge!!!!
Alright, time to study now. I have just a few more pages to complete for the day. Energy levels are very low now.

No Pun Intended!!!!!!

2008-08-24T23:12:00.002+08:00

Angel Of Mercy

Ok, alot of my nicks and tags are all sounding very love-lorn nowadays. I have to clarify, its cos I've been listening to One-Republic's Album (Which i won from an email competition!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!). So its all in fact lyrics from their album. Haha, and no Julius, i'm not in love. Maybe with my books. hmmm, sounds kinky.
Right, today was rather weird. I was supposed to hae played tennis and socer. But the rain spoilt it all. Oh well, Gordon never waste his Sunday afternoons away. So i decided to spend and spend and spend. Firstly, i bought a tennis racket, den bought Top-Spin 3!!!! hahaha and alot of stationery. I played Wii with my whole family today. Ended up to be quite a nice family Sunday. Which is very nice!! But i really want to play tennis soon!!! hahah. Cos i have a brand new flashy lime green racket to show off to everyone. And no, for those wondering, it was not expensive at all. In fact i was quite surprised i got it so cheap! its less than 100!!!!!
My knee is still busted. But i got the Patella Band today. Which means i can train without hurting it further. I found out that all my left knee problems is down to the fact that my left foot's arch collapsed. Darn it, me and my foolish youth. Kids reading this, heed my warning!!! Take care of sprained ankles and never ever continue to exercise with a sprained ankle. It'll lead to so much more crap when you grow older.
My birthday is coming up. And under social pressure, i will be having a birthday party. haha. And it'll be party for me and one of my best buds, kok hong (who turns 21 2 days before me!). The venue up to now is unknown, so is everything else. haha. But my 2 capable friends, Ruth and Faith, will be given the honor to plan everything!!! Anyone else who wants to chip in ideas please do contact them!!! Thank God for them. haha. I would have just been too lazy. Hope the party works out to be a cracker!

anhonestperspectiveonethics

2008-08-22T23:00:00.002+08:00

FIRST WEEK

Thank God its friday? I can think of a million more things to thank Him. For one, thank him for forcing me to do what i'm doing now. I guess the cliche is to say, He had a plan. Its just men's impatience and lack of faith that screws it up sometimes.
But from what i've gotten so far, my new chapter in life seems pretty good. I love the profs in my mods. i think they teach in a very interesting way! And they're all so intelligent.
I gotta admit though, the readings and work are very heavy! But i think i'll be able to pull through. No more procrastination!!! For the first time in my life. haha.
Today was Vivace, or CCA day, and it was full of colors and funny characters! I joined a few CCAs. But i'm not too sure which i'll be serious in.
Missed opportunities seem abundant in every phase of life. You always have some regrets here and there. No matter how well things turned out, you tend to feel "you could've done it better." All the Ifs and Buts. That is what makes life so challenging. You never know if the path you take right now is going to be the best or if another methodology would be better. Not until the event has past at least.
I saw you again. And strangely i just couldn't bring myself to say hi. It was ugly the way i left. And believe it or not, i am truly sorry. Young and foolish is the only sound explanation i can come up with. Fortunately he is still there for you. And you seem to be living a good life. Why i'm so afraid? I'm really not too sure either.

forallthebutsinlife.

2008-08-18T22:33:00.002+08:00

FIRST DAY!!!!

Right, i promised i'll blog about my first day. So here goes!!! haha, lets start at the beginning. I was afraid of being late and losing my way. So i left my house at 0730. I reached the classroom by 0800!!!!! hahah. talk about kiasu can. And i even managed to buy breakfast and cope a copy of biz times. hahahah. And the lesson was super power. The TA (teaching assistant) came in and told us that the main prof (i have 2 profs for comms 101 - 1 for oral aspect and the other for written aspect) couldn make it today. So it was just purely introduction and no teaching!!! haha. We started at 0830 and ended by 0915. Power right???? Its like a 45 min class. But i think it only happens for the first lesson. Then i hung out with one of the yr 2s, we ate breakfast AGAIN and went to gym for awhile. haha. Crappy.
Andrew and the rest came down at 12 and we started our crazy hunt for a place to have lunch. Everywhere seem to be crawling with people. And we ended up deciding on 8 different locations before settling down in "Wild Pot" at Admin building. After that we did quite a few things - collected our EZ-Link cards (finally got concession!!! Starting from tomorrow), got our course package from library, collected our "welcome gift" (which happens to be a super fashionable wind-breaker!! haha, and its so nice that i'll just be hanging it in my cupboard for now till eternity) and lastly we got to know where is Faith's mysterious locker!!!
Talk about muggerism - We planned our GSR booking schedule already. And we're studying at least 30 hours a week!!! And it happens to be my turn to book the GSRs (oh it stands for Group Study Room, SMU just has lots and lots of acronyms) for next week.
Now its time for me to go read my Pol Sci stuff. I gotta finish 4 chaps of readings my tonight. And I've gotta wake up at 0640 tomorrow!! 'Cos we decided to meet for breakfast at 0730. haha.
And lastly, i went for the trials in the end. My left knee suffered as a result. But.. well, we'll see if i want to commit. The decision is going to be a very tough one!

Sorado.

2008-08-17T20:10:00.002+08:00

COMM 101

That would be my first lesson for the first time in 3 years tomorrow. haha. Bright in the early morning of 0830. That would mean that i've gotta wake up at 0700. I think its still manageable. Man, school is actually starting!!! I remember during army that i always wished that i could be studying instead. But now that the time has come, i'm a little indifferent now. Not knowing what to expect and really just going with the flow. God help me.
Singapore is playing in the finals of women table tennis now. I guess like all 4 million of us we're not really expecting them to win the Gold. A silver will be more than enough!!! But from what i've seen, i think born Singaporeans or not, the team has indeed done us proud. For the very least, Singapore's National Flag would be seen flying later on. Hopefully with these so called "foreign talents" representing us, our own local stars would benefit from their experience and coaching in the future. And HOPEFULLY, in bout 8 years time, the team that we'll be cheering on for a medal will truly be pure Singaporeans.
Its pretty strange, lots of people say that its a China against China finals. But i beg to differ. haha. (sorry old habits die hard) I mean, the players that came over to Singapore were in a way "rejected" by the Chinese national team and were highly unlikely going to be able to represent China at this stage. So the fact that they've managed to bring Singapore all the way to the finals showed that they improved greatly in Singapore itself. So if their skills were honed in Singapore, wouldn't that make them every bit Singaporean as any of us are? Come to think of it, not too many generations ago, we were all also deemed foreign talents too.
And tonight is also Man Utd's first match of the season. Not a particularly easy opponent to go against - Newcastle. But its in Old Trafford so everyone would expect them to win. Luckily Rooney is back in time. I've a hunch that this is going to be his season. We'll just have to stick around to find out!
And like all Red Devil fans, i'm eagerly anticipating the new "star striker" signing that SAF (Sir Alex Ferguson, and not the army!!!) wants to bring in. Personally, i do hope its not going to be Berbatov!!! I think he costs way too much!!! But apart from him, i can't think of anyone that'll suit our play. We need a tall solid striker who can finish, hold up play and head the ball!!!!
Right, first match starting in 5 min!!! Chelsea vs Pompey!! i'll blog bout first day of school tomorrow!!! And i've decided, i'll not be going for trails tomorrow.

toohottohandle.

2008-08-10T20:40:00.002+08:00

All About Me.

Haha. I watched the cartoon "Emperor Kuskos". Man that guy must love his life. He goes to a school named after him! but he is one self-centered P.O.S!!! haha. funny guy.
okok. its a pretty boring sunday. but exactly what i needed after 5 straight days of busy schedule! went back to CFCC (my old church) today. cos Ruth needed to go for her baptism briefing. and i have to add, it wasn't something that couldn't be conveyed over an email!! can't believe we wasted $7 on cab fare to rush down. and guess what, nobody in church recognised me!!! haha, at least not for the first 30min i was there.
Then, we went down to SMU cos i needed to install something from the school server. and somehow my VPN doesn't work. stupid!!!!! we had lunch at some noodles place in cathay and i found out that battlefield has a new instalment coming out!!! But subsequently i realised that its out only on PS3 and Xbox360. The two consoles that i don't happen to have!!!
Its ok, not that i really like playing first-player shooters on consoles. OHHH but what i really am anticipating is "Star Wars: Force Unleashed" and "Top-Spin 3" on the Wii!!!!! haha. It'll be so cool to play tennis and wield the lightsaber on the wii control. woohoo, i can't wait. I'll probably get Top-Spin next month. This month i've spent way too much.
My bank balance is below my cap. Which is not a very good thing!!!!! And there are so many things i wanna get. Like a DSLR - its between a canon 450D or Sony's alpha 350, the Rock Band Full Set on Wii and many many more!!! haha. Tech craze......
School is starting in 8 days!!!! OH my goodness. My last phase of stress-free studying is about to begin. And u know how it goes, once it starts, u can feel the end!!! After this 4 years, its gonna be work work, more work?!!! haha. And i really wanna do well this time!!! i know i screwed it up in A's.
Apart from doing well, i really wanna enjoy this experience too. My sosci Friends are wonderful! There are so many things that i wanna accomplish this 4 years! Lets see, theres the work & travel, exchange in Europe, learning to invest, photography........ so many stuff but only 4 years to do them all!!! haha.
And my birthday is exactly 1 month 1 day later. Ruth insists on planning a party for me. haha. i just don't wanna end up inviting people who i won't have time to entertain. and all the hassle of getting a venue is such a chore. But it is my 21st and its supposed to be memorable. haha. Actually, spending it with the people i hold dearest to my heart would suffice - My family, my closest friends. We'll see how.
I should stop dreaming. Dreams of a certain kind will only lend you with a very screwed up aching heart feeling. haha. but without dreams, where is the meaning of life??

with or without you.

2008-08-06T17:34:00.003+08:00

Down On Everything

Procrastination is not a good thing! If you keep telling yourself that you'll do it tomorrow, everything's gonna pile up to a shit-load high! The thing is, i know its not good, but i can't help doing it!!!
As i embark on my next adventure in life, it seems that its gonna be a very busy one! And for the most part, its 'cos of my indiscretions. This sem itself, I'm taking 5 mods. Econs, Psy, PS, BGS and bidded for MgmtComm. I'll also be taking my CFA level 1. And i have 4 tuition kids to handle till October, one Christmas event to plan for church, Soccer to attend every week and CCAs that I'll be joining. CRAZY is the only word i can think of now.
As overwhelming as it might seem, i just hope that Divine help will come soon! I haven't exactly been "good" in that sense. Crap, i keep letting my carnal nature get the better of me. I'm starting to wonder, will He even bother to bother with me??? Time and again i say the same payers, and time and again i make the same darn mistakes.
Yes, i have to admit, today has not been a good day at all!! It is times like these where you really envy those who have their other halves to turn to. But it is also times like these where once you survive them, it makes you even more sure that you don't need the hassle of maintaining a relationship.
Well, at least i got things done today. My desk is finally packed and ready for me to start my mugging regime. My many many bags have all been stuffed onto a dark quiet corner where mommy won't be able to spot!!! Though my bank balance dropped by quite a fair bit the last few days, I've promised myself to go on a budget the next few days. People at school are like very well-off. And thank God they're not snobbish, well at least for the ones that I'm close to. But there's just this tendency of them spending so much that you also tend to spend. I have to strike that fine balance. I can't go on like this. I must be frugal!
Thank God also for the people I've met. Especially the socsci people. They're truly an amazing bunch. At least we get along pretty fine. Though it has only been awhile since I've known them, hopefully things will work out good! And yes, hopefully the rest of the year will turn out fine. I know if it were to boil down to my strength alone, it would definitely not be enough. God help me!

Times Like This

2008-07-25T14:55:00.007+08:00

Why so SERIOUS?!!!

As you can already guess, i just watched The Dark Knight!!! It was crazy awesome. The Joker is pretty much a class of his own man. Such a waste that heath ledger died. He's such a talented actor!!!

And yes, Tired is a major understatement. I'm squeezed to zero already. Just got back from Sports and Sosi camp. And they were both in their own ways very very fun!!! I guess its a blessing that i got super fun people for group mates during the camps. And since pictures for Sosi is not up yet, you guys will have to do with Sports camp for now.

Legolas 13!!! - with lots of energy

This is what happens when you get lost in Kallang trying to look for a swimming pool in the river!!!!! hahahahaha.

As for any other camp, the food was horrendous!!!!

Sports camp truly lives up to its reputation. Our Facis, Jingwen & Wilson, were simply fantastic. Especially Jingwen and her bim*o moments!!!! hahahahaha. And my fellow group members were such a fun bunch!!! Encik and his relentless mimicking! And our dear Naval Officer Gaoshen!!! haha.

I'll load up Sosi pictures as soon as i get them!!! Now, i'm gonna sleep and pack for my next camp tomorrow!!! haha. madness.

Shazam!!!!

2008-06-26T22:49:00.002+08:00

Blewit

Thursday is a good day. I had the chance to just sit-by and admire the Singapore River today. haha. Nice and quiet all by myself.
Actually i had alot of things i wanted to blog about today. But i just can't seem to organise them into readable thoughts. well.
Ate with Ruth today. I think her work is driving her mad!!!! Like crazy woodbridge kindda mad. haha. Kept making random comments and laughed at every single thing. But yeah, that's why she has been my closest girl-friend since ages ago. haha. 'cos i was exactly the same just now too!!!! Man, what am i gonna do when you go to aussie man!!!! Stupid Kenneth Chan Ma Li Chan, always busy with his "project". hahahah No la, he's nice too. And i'm gonna punch your face tomorrow when the clock strikes 12!!!! Dumb Ryan off in good old Nippon. Bet he's having a blast!! And Goh Kok Hong, whole day sleep sleep sleep. His most famous phrase is "Cannot la, today very tired!!!" hahahahah.

somethingsyoujustcantgetback

2008-06-15T23:28:00.002+08:00

Sunday.

It has been a good good day! haha. 'Cos our team won!!!! 7-1!!! We were up 6-1 by the first half. I played central mid today. My positioning wasn't very fantastic but i tried to keep their attack away as far as possible. And i scored 2 goals! haha. The first was all the way from the half-way line. wooohooo. I took the the ball down with my knees and caught the keeper dreaming. So i decided to just lob him! And it went in!!! hahahahaha. My second came in the dying minutes of the second half. Bong came in from the right and squared the ball pass the keeper and a defender. I was at the right place at the right time - And simply blasted the ball into the open net!!! Could have had my hat-trick if i actually tried shooting during the last minute of the match. I saw the opening but wanted to take one more step closer. Got pass two defenders but not the third. Darn it!
Then i had Father's day dinner with daddy. At Aamara Hotel. The buffet there is expensive, but pretty good. They had Oysters, Buddha Jump Over the Wall, Sashimis, and a crazy load of deserts. It cost me a whooping $113/- just for two!!! But well, as long as he's happy. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Finally i went for my sister's graduation from Adam Khoo's 5 day camp. Its amazing what they did to the kids man. There was this segment at the end where the children came up to give "thank you" speeches. And this super "Ah Beng" person came up. I thought he gave the best speech. It was so touching how he expressed his deep felt regret about stealing and running away from home. And how because his Father left them when he was young his mother was never really there for him 'cos she had to work. He simply stole the show with his words which were sincerely from the bottom of his heart. Not only did he cry, so did his mother, and many of the parents who were there. Not to mention i actually teared 'cos i was so moved by him. Great job kiddo! Of 'cos my sister came up to speak also. haha. People from my family just can't resist the temptation of not going up to publicly express ourselves!!!!
Yes, it has been a fulfilling day. If only mommy could have shared it with us. Hope you're safe and sound mommy and enjoying yourself! See you on Wednesday!

soonitsgonnabemonday

2008-06-14T23:19:00.002+08:00

Soccer.

Just played 3 and a half hours of football! And it was awesome! haha. I love playing with Jeremy and the rest. Its competitive yet we still have our laughs. At one point it was 5 on 5. And my team comprised of Brandon, Kelvin, Jeremy, Ah Seng and me. We were god-like! haha. Didn't even lose a match. And that Mun Wei was hilarious. Because there's a shortage of players, so every time a team switches, one member from the outgoing team will join the new ones. And it was Mun Wei all the way!!!!! haha. And every single time he lost!!!!!! hahahahahahah.
Tomorrow is the third match for the season. We've lost or previous 2 matches. And it was embarrassing man. 4 nil and 4-1. haha. Crap. Never mind i'm on fire already!!!! 'Cos i have no more exams to worry. I'll make the difference tomorrow!!!!!! RARGGGHHHHH!!!!!! (haha. that was supposed to be a war-cry. Are you afraid?!!! haha. No?!!! How 'bout now?!!!)
Wanted to thread my brows. But guess what, the earliest slot was 8.15pm!!! Crap!!!! Me and Kenneth was like so disappointed can. Sigh. At least got to cut hair today! It was according to Ash, "Looking liek a Lion's Mane". haha now i look like a super guai boy!!! Which i am!!!!!!!
Mommy went to HongKong this morning. I hate it when my family members go overseas. I can't stop worrying for them!!! I'm a family man. haha. But i'm sure God will be with her!!! Praying for you mommy, and hurry back home!
Tomorrow is Father's Day. And i'm so glad my Dad loves his watch! haha. And every time i steal glance at it. It's so pretty!!! GOOD TASTE GORDON!!! hahahahhahahahaha.
OK TIME TO WATCH SOCCER!!!

thebeautifulgame.

2008-06-13T23:49:00.002+08:00

Runnig Away.

EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!! C'mon people let me hear you scream with joy!!!! ahahahhahahahaha. And yes, i'll never get sick of this feeling. I call it "Liberation!" Finally after 3 months of studying, i can finally sleep without worrying how much of the syllabus i've not covered!!!! I feel good, nanananananana. hahahahhaha.
I celebrated it with Mambo!!! Though i didn't get to phuture. I was just glad to be around friends in a stress-free mental state! But i need to get a real phuture/mambo outing soon!!! Without the crazy ridiculous swarm of people and just plain clean fun! Maybe at the end of June! or July. haha. We'll see.
Oh man, you people must hear this song. I think its super! haha.

Its worth it trust me!

Saythatitsok

2008-06-11T11:36:00.008+08:00

Bananananananananananananas

I dropped my Bananas!!!! They just fell. haha. Seriously. I was plucking one from the bunch. And when i returned to throw the skin, i saw my remaining 3 bananas on the floor!!!!!!! See, they just DROPPED!!!!!
Oh man, Spain was awesome yesterday. David Villa - Assassin in front of Goal!

Hope they do well this time around! The last trophy they lifted was way back in '64!! Goodness, talk about overdue man. They're they most expensive squad in the Euros and probably one of the most talented one also. GO SPAIN!!!

And bye Kenneth!!! He is off to Church camp in Port Dickson and really really happy 'cos he can finally spend time with his better half!!! haha.

OKKKKK, i know i shouldn't even be blogging now. Back to studies!!! Pray for me, its my final paper!!! WOOHOOOOOOO.

Paintingthetownred

2008-06-07T19:22:00.004+08:00

F. Torres

Went to do a little shopping today. haha. I printed my Espana Jersey. Wanted to get either Villa or Febregas. but guess what there's only Alonso, Puyol and Torres. So in the end me and Kenneth got the same print - "F.TORRES 9". It'll be pretty funny if both of us wore the same thing eh.
I also bought my tights. Both the top and shorts. Finally i can dive into tackles without worry of being gashed on my thighs!!! And i got a new knee guard. And as we were walking around searching for Kenneth's FBT shorts we met Don and his better half!
Was pretty surprised to see them. I asked him what's he getting? He told me shoes for his dad. Then it struck me; I forgotten to get a present for Father's Day!!!! I was so panicky and started asking Don if Father's Day is tomorrow or next week? And he was like tomorrow la! But Evonne was like, "no, its next week." So i decided to ask Kenneth. And he went, "Confirm plus guarantee stamp chop tomorrow." So i got a little worried.
We hurried to Raffles City to check out watches. And i kept borrowing the Sales Guy's hand ('cos my Dad's are much thinner than mine) to try on the watches. We tried a very nice Fossil one, then a Titus one and finally decided on a Kenneth Cole one. I think it looks very pretty! A tinge of Vinyl kind of Class. haha.
But when i got home i found out Father's Day is next Sunday NOT tomorrow! Such an interesting day la. And after watching a few Adidas Soccer Videos, i'm so psyched to play a full 90min now!!!! Luckily it rained today, if not i'm sure i wouldn't have resisted the temptation.

Ohh, for those who haven't seen it. This is Kenneth's new kicks! Happy 21st dude!

trulysincerelysorry

2008-06-07T01:41:00.003+08:00

Hitch

I feel like a villain. Oh mann. Being the bad guy just ain't my cup of tea. But its for everyone good. Hope society will look upon this sacrifice and acknowledge it i the future.
Love Songs on Class 95 just ain't the same without Yaz. The temp guy just doesn't cut it. I think Daniel is his name. Maybe is a gender issue. A guys voice reading love dedication just have a little weirdness in it. haha.
When the wind blows at night, all the emotions start to fill in. Feeling that empty gush howling pass just hurts so much. Knowing what you had once makes it even worst. But fate just loves reminding you of your mistakes. As you cower under those sheets, a false sense of security creeps in. And soon your heart forms what i call "The Great Wall of Emptiness" to fend off invasions from the north. Like they always say, if you don't get on that saddle, you won't fall down the horse. (talk about random quotes. Don't even bother asking me where i got that!!!!!)
Sentimental words. Its been a long while.

Whereartthouwiththysolacingsmile?

2008-06-06T13:00:00.002+08:00

One-Way Ticket To A Madman's Situation

That's one incredible song. haha.
Life is full of surprises. That's exactly why we should go on living and expecting something great the very next day! Bumpy periods are bound to come. But after the dirt road, its a lush green track awaiting you. We simply focus ourselves too much on the adversities we're facing and forgetting to look ahead to what life offers us. Look up and hang on to hope!

leavin'

2008-06-05T00:28:00.002+08:00

DPM

My cousin from Malaysia decided to scare me today! haha. See it all began last night or rather this morning at 2, when i received an overseas call. I mean, which moron would call from overseas at 2am?!!! So i thought it was those con-men/women, i bet you got a call that went "Ni hao xian shen...." before. haha. And i just ignored it. Then today at 2pm the number called again. I was so ready to yell at someone (especially after reading business models for the past hour!), so i picked up. And to my surprise i heard a rather familiar voice. That moron turned out to be my cousin. haha. He told me that he was on-board the bus towards Singapore right as we spoke. I was like, "WHAT?!!! Alone?!!! For what?!!!" haha. Apparently he had some errands to run in Johor so conveniently armed with his passport he decided to pop by. So interesting. Imagine he's only 17 and all by himself. Only travelled to Singapore like twice. Once when he couldn't even remember anything and the other with the company of my Grandma. His English proficiency is, well lets just say there isn't one to begin with. Gosh, i think i wouldn't have such courage. What if i decided to not pick-up his call at all??????? Well, everything is alright. He's safe and sound sleeping in my room - While i'm stuck in the awfully dusty play-room for the night!!!
Every morning when i wake up. Which comes to about 12pm by the time i finish washing up and stuff. I would go open the letter-box. haha. I'm "eagerly" anticipating my SMU rejection letter. Which i think is supposed to come long ago considering the fact that the widow for accepting the application was on the 2nd of June!!!! Maybe they know i already got a place, so decided not to waste money sending me that dumb letter. (which i have 2 copies already!!! what can i say, i was clinging on to that thin thread of hope these past two years.)
I have about 200 more pages to read. Which i don't think its that tough. You must understand my favourite subjects were History and Biology. Both involved alot of reading. If you tell me i have 20 more mathematical questions to attempt. I'll probably be sleeping by now! haha. I don't exactly hate math, i just love linguistics more. Wish me luck for next week!!! Monday to Wednesday, 3 full days of battle. Then i'm freeeeeeeeeeee. And next stop SMU!!!!! haha. WOOHOOOOOO.

directionalpolicymatirx

2008-06-04T00:23:00.002+08:00

GGGBF

Bye bye Tuesday! Hello Wednesday. The fourth day of the week in a Christian Calendar and the third day for a normal one. Funny how men choose to segregate themselves even in the simplest of things.
I don't think i will b able to carry on my soccer dreams for long. After every match my neck will hurt for a good 3 days! I think its due to all the headers and tackles i throw myself into. Makes me wonder if its worth to even play at the "Sunday League" level - lest competitive during varsity. But its something i really love. To call me a soccer fan would be an understatement. I think ultra fanatic is more appropriate. I watch soccer (and now its like torture 'cos the season is over. Weekends seem pointless and empty......), play it on my PS2, on my PC "FM2008", play it on the court, play it on the field, buy jerseys every new season, dream about different tactics and so so so much more. haha. CRAZY! But fate has other plans. It has given me the weirdest injury. And as much as i want to pretend its not affecting me, my body's cry just don't lie.

goodnessgraciousgreatballsoffire

2008-05-31T22:45:00.004+08:00

Sling Box Day

Congrats Ms Kong!!!! She got married today. And invited 1504 to share the joy. haha. It was real fun to catch up with people that you've not seen for so long. It was nice. We took lots of crazy pictures.

But the highlight of the day must be our Hunt for the illusive "Sling Box.

This little thing caused us to walk from the 6th floor of Sim Lim all the way to the 1st. And asking every shop the same question "Do you sell Sling-Box?". There were just a few generic responses. The classic "HARRRR?!!! Sorry what?!!" Then there is the hilarious one "You looking for sling bag ar?" And those that gave you false hope "Oh that one ar. *walks outta of the counter as if going o bring the product for our perusal* I don't have lei. But i got hear before." Haha. You cannot imagine the ups and downs in emotions during that2 hour search. But well, love makes you do crazy things (i'm not the one in love. haha. Need to clarify. Nowadays people seem to misunderstand me alot. My classmates actually thought i was the one wedding today) In the end, we went from Sim Lim to Paragon to get Cuff-links. I think they're pretty!

Let's cover a little on the wedding. haha. Ms Kong was angelic. And her husbands is good stuff! Charisma is definately not something he lacks. He sang without music to Ms Kong la! Talk about guts and passion. He was just so natural and commical. haha. Great Catch Jolin! And there were so many students. ( 'Cos both of them happen to be teachers) There was even one that came in his No. 4. *Salute* I sincerely wish the newly weds a wonderful night tonight. opps. i mean a wonderful life ahead and just a glorious God guided life together!

Forever & Ever

2008-05-28T20:26:00.002+08:00

Passing Of A Titan

To Mandy! Pass to a better place.
It was a good few days that i got to know you. Alas, life is a short yet memorable journey. Some days just ain't worth nothing. But today shall always be remembered - for you and you alone.

dusttodust

2008-05-28T13:59:00.002+08:00

Wednesday

Happy birthday Zhi & to my Sis too!!!!! haha. Birthdays are fun. But expensive. I think i spent a total of 400 on presents this month alone. its like whoooooooooo.
And fel, on second thought, i think you should stay in china during July. haha. i think I'm broke!!! ai ya, stop cursing me la. I'm just kidding. even if u're in china we'll send your present to you via DHL!!! That reminds me of that commercial where they sent a package to a Mr Zhang. And there were like a few hundred of them. Wonder how many Ms Kohs are there in your area?!!!! -randomness-
As usual, i watched Mythbusters just now!!! haha. They used Salami to fuel a rocket that actually flew 20 feet!!!! I mean, food can't be anymore interesting than that. And now i know that you should never fire a shot-gun in water. 'Cos it'll just break into two!! haha.

theresnothingintheworld

2008-05-27T21:23:00.003+08:00

LALALALLALALALALA

Mommy is back! So is Daddy and pesty Sister!!! haha.
And its my sister's birthday tomorrow!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS!! oh, its the elder one. Not the pest. hahahahah.
They got me Ronaldo & Rooney pillows. woohoooo. so cool!!!! Now i have lots of pillows on my bed!!! There's the two i use to rest my head with. (i alternate between them, one is soft and the other is firmer) And there is my BIG GREEN which is just special. And my bolster. And now, my two jersey sized super-star pillows!!! hahahahhahaha.
I can't wait to start studying for CFA. haha. You must think i'm outta my mind. But really, it seems like a ton of fun!!! Knowing how the finance world works. And i can't wait to start Uni!!! (that goes without saying - it has been a 3 year wait mann) And i can't wait to get outta these braces. It's just so much hassle to maintain them.
There's one short-term goal though. haha. I can't wait to play in the Adonai League for my team!!!! They lost the first game 3-nil. Not that me being there would have changed the score line. But at least i know i'll put up a crazy fight before the final whistle sounds. I'll be missing out until my exams end.
I've already started planning the post-exam activities!!! I end on a Wednesday!!! Which is my favourite day!!! 'Cos its............................... hhahahhahahahah. ohh, you should know what day it is! So guys, whoever is game please do drop me a tag or sms me!!!!

therearemanycatsinmorocco

2008-05-27T00:05:00.002+08:00

Midnight Syndrome

Yes, its 12 in the morning. And its not a nice feeling. haha. Especially when i'm tuning into Love Songs with Yaz. All those dedications. It burns it burns!!!!
Well, apart from the 1st degree damage, i'm still consolidating those accounts. Oh, i need to do a correction to my previous post. Yesterday was Day 4. Today would be day 5 and the final day before my family comes back! haha. Dam, i'm good at surviving. haha.
Yes, i'm feeling much better zhi!! And you really do have a stalker "..." on your blog! haha. Creepy stuff. Maybe you should tell him to bugger off and stalk another blog soon. Before he/she starts getting bolder. Back to my health. haha. Certain parts of my digestive tract is still hay-wired. With specific regards to the last bit of the digestion process. Well, can say that stuff just ain't solid enough. haha. Go figure.
And i think i'm crazily into Chuck and Mythbusters! haha. I can tell you when the are on-air on AXN and Discovery respectively. I love Mythbusters 'cos its just way cool how they go about building and testing different urban legends. And Chuck is simply hilarious! Its one of those shows where you just wish you were the lead. Deceptively average life but with a mega undercover spy thing going on. Not to mention a sizzling hot CIA agent to babysit you!! What more can a man ask for?!!! haha.

"Look into my eyes & dance with me"

2008-05-26T17:10:00.002+08:00

Class 95

Day 3 alone!!! haha. For those that don't know, my family left me in Singapore alone. And i had to survive all by myself. With like Stomach flu on the cards, it was dreadful in the beginning. But I'm strong! haha. I managed to occupy the lonely nights with studying and tv, way too much tv!!! Even succeeded in dragging my feet to buy meals for myself (that's a real rarity in this house!) and also clean up the house here and there.
In fact, i just washed the soup pot. Which i found contained soup from last week. Ad be'cos i didn't know it existed, i didn't re-boil it! So it was decomposed when i opened the lid. (How did i know you ask? Trust me, the smell tells it all) But its all good now. No one will find out that i wasted a quarter of good soup down the rubbish chute! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Imagine what my mom will say if she knew. yikes!!
Oh well, they're coming back tomorrow. God give them journey mercy!!!! I miss them. haha. The noise and the fact that there'll be people around when i open my room door. ahhh, the wonders of a family. Makes me realize that i made a darn good choice of not going overseas to study. If i went, i think i would have hated having no mother to scream at me, no sister to disturb and no father to get pissed at! haha, what would life be without them!!!!
Studies is going slowly but steadily. Hopefully from today until the 11th, i won't burn out or get distracted. And thank you Class 95! Your tracks are the best!!!! Who needs to download stuff when there's a home theatre radio set in your room?!!! YEAH!
Right, wonder if people still read my blog. haha, the fact that I've been absent for a pretty long time.

Scrub & Squib

2008-05-25T00:29:00.002+08:00

Changed

I think its time for a change. A new theme for a start. hmm, maybe a new focus as well. I love writing. Yeah, you may ask "Your updated blog doesn't really show it."
Its just that... I don't know. Some things i just can't or rather don't know how to put to words. Life has been what its supposed to be. Some crappy stuff thrown at you along the way and good Samaritans that pick you up and dust the dirt off your wound.
I guess, when they say God really has everything under control, they really weren't kidding! I saw an episode of House M.D. (which i must say, is extremely entertaining and addictive!) which portrayed a boy having this particular kind of STD who coincidentally came into contact with this lady with cancer and actually gave her a few more months to live. (Alright, i can hear the little voice in your had roaring "How in the world???" - apparently the bacteria from the boy was the only ones that could retard the growth of the cancer cells) If that's not under control, i don't know what is. To link it to mere coincidence would really show how logical you are! I mean, the boy had to have the exact strain of bacteria and the lady had to be at that exact time and location to come into contact with the boy. To me, that is miraculous enough!
Just a few more months. Then its a whole new life. Excited? Nervous? I think the most suited word would be ambivalence. 'Cos i really don't know if I'm ready for this change. As much as i want a change. There's still this degree of uncertainty and of comfort in familiar surroundings.

To be or Not to be?

2008-04-24T17:13:00.002+08:00

'Cos I Got You Babe

Ronaldo missed the penalty!!!!!! But i think Man Utd did a good job. They didn't really have a good backline - With Vidic out with stomach infection and Van Der Saar just returning from injury. Wouldn't say i enjoyed watching them play though. It was so unlike them. Hopefully we'll win at OT and shut the critics up! Go Devils!!!!!
Need to double up my studying. Intend to finish my most feared subject this time around before the stat of May - P2!! Oh man, i feel lazzzzzzyyyy.

I Said NonOno

2008-04-21T02:10:00.002+08:00

Your Coquettish Smile

Listening to "Bee Gees" now. Just had the urge to go oldies today! Went to dig up my dad's cd collection. I truly believe that good music never goes outta trend. Even after so many decades it still sounds like a masterpiece.
Study study study. Exams are closing in and i'm far from ready. As usual. haha. I don't understand myself. Why do i procrastinate?!!! There was this phrase i heard from somewhere - i think it goes something like "Miracles lost in a sea of procrastination." I think that aptly summarizes man's weakness. We know its wrong, but we just can't help ourselves!!!!!!!!!! God help me.
I can't wait for Jun to come. Firstly, exams will be over. Then there is Euro 2008 to enjoy! Go Espana!!!!!! And finally its the last month before i enter uni!!! I got an email the other day telling me of all the pre administrative issues that i need to do; Martric, Camps and some other stuff. So exciting!!! haha. But i know i'm gonna go "man, i wish uni wouldn't start so soon" in due time. For now, nothing beats having something to do and people to meet!!!
And apparently the church team is participating in a league come May and June. What timing man!!! Its like during my exam period can. Gosh. Hopefully i can get to play in a few matches. Heard there is a tophy to be won! Woohoo. That'll be pretty cool. But its the first time we're participating. So i don't expect much from our debut season. haha. Sounds so professional.
Oh well, its back to the books now. I need to complete 3 chapters today. And i've only done 0.75 so far. So crap.

Gorgeous

2008-04-17T21:34:00.002+08:00

The Special One

I'm finally gonna get myself a pair of nice looking Birks! Ordering it online some more.
Just read Cheow Sheng's email, his first by the way! haha. Can't believe it has been a few months since we last saw him off in Changi. (not the prison mind you, the AIRPORT!) Looks like he's really living the international student life there! Stuff you only seen from movies, haha - he has done it all. From moving mattresses on trams to stealing shopping trolleys to help move 2nd-hand furniture. Sounds like quite an experience eh.
I colored my hair today! haha, in true DIY style. Now its red. I think that after a few washes, it'll become bright brown again. Oh well, had to do something 'cos the roots were returning black. And that simply looks way sloppy.
I feel so tired nowadays. Its becoming quite difficult to get myself off the bed in the mornings. Think i might be falling ill soon. Praying that it won't happen though. I've just too much things in-hand now.
Oh, sadly, i think i won't be playing soccer for quite awhile. My sprain on my right ankle was more serious than i thought. Usually it'll be better after a week. But it still feels extremely sore and weak now. Think it'll be wise to lay to lay if off for 3 more weeks man. Might turn out to be a good thing! Like that i'll have more time to study on Saturdays and Sundays! haha.
TODAY is a special day for Kenneth my man! haha. Its his one month anni!!!! Wonder how it went. Shall dig it out of him soon enough. That sly boy. He kept this one a secret for a pretty long time. But at least this one is more successful than his last one. Good for you mate! Hmm, come to think of it all my close friends seem to be very sly when it comes to issues of the heart. I remembered vividly how Ruth threw it upon e not too long ago.
We were having dinner at central. And suddenly she just went, "Gordon i hve something to tell you. But you mustn't be angry." And instantly i knew what she was about to tell me - so i asked her was it. And she went, "The guy behind you!" I was like, what kindda of sick joke is this?!!! haha. Apparently her bf happened to be having dinner there too. And gosh, she would have kept it from me longer if we didn't accidental meet him!
I'm gonna go for neck surgery one day. Every morning i wake up with a cement stiff neck. And the ache just haunts me throughout the day! How i wish i could hire a masseuse every single day.

No, I Will Not Do Your Homework For You

2008-04-13T01:06:00.002+08:00

And Again.

I played soccer today!!! haha. Finally after 3 weeks. My heel wasn't too good the last couple of Sat. I barely had strength at 9 plus. This is what happens after 3 weeks of doing no exercise at all!
Thank you so much for the encouragement girl! Trust me it means alot. And thank you for all the prayers from everyone. One of friends gave me a very meaningful message. He told me that "Gordon, i know you like to keep things to yourself and not bother others. But if you ever need to talk i'll be here." That really kept me alive that night. Yeah i guess its true, i don't really like confiding in others. Its not that i don't think they can help me. Its just that i know that they've got their own problems and if i can avoid it i'll rather not trouble them.
I really do admire those who have the courage to share their problems with others. At least they know that they're not facing it alone. Even if it means only spiritual support. That has and will be my weakness. I just don't know how to ask for help when i need it. I just keep it all bottled up and laugh it off.
Well, enough of the sad stories and awful mourning! Life is still good in the end!! There was a show on channel 8 - Don't Worry Be Happy. I think that's what all of us should work towards! haha. Its pretty impossible. Worrying is just in-built.
Kenneth is so funny! and sweet. haha. He is going to celebrate his 1 month anni next thurs!!! sigh, the bliss of innocent young love! haha. I'm happy for him. Stupid lucky guy.
Oh, we're thinking of moving to a bigger place! haha. So cool!!!!!! My mom and i plan to renovate the new house until "nice nice"; macham like condo!!!!! But we havn't found a suitable house yet. We almost bought one today. But a newly wed out-bid us. Oh well, that house wasn't that fantastic. It being only 4 stories and all. Hopefully God will give us a good flat soon!!! And good price too!!!! Pray pray we must pray!!

I'm Wha Zhai!!!!!

2008-03-28T21:38:00.002+08:00

Poor In Spirit

Just came back from youth cell. I'm glad i started going. At least there is some effort on my part. Oh well, i'm still learning and fining my way. And yes, it has been a long long time. Just didn't feel like talking about my own life. As much as the surface looks nice and calm, i myself know better. So much hate and sin. Just too ashamed and proud to admit it. Luckily there's still a part of me that recognizes that God has shown me so many times before that Impossible to Him is really just a word.
But, so little is the faith of men that constantly casts doubt into what would seem so assuring. It’s really a very simple concept, such a glaring truth that hits you right away. Yet, we choose to ignore and shun away from it. Is it really human nature to want to defy what is right - to earnestly attempt to bend and break the rules? Or is it just our carnal being prompting us to step into the dark-side.
Come to think of it, our elders really were right when they said "If it makes you feel too good, it is wrong." I just hope i can rekindle the zest that consumed me so long ago. I really want to make things right again. But as for him, i really have no idea how.

Blessed

2008-02-29T22:48:00.002+08:00

29th February 2008!!!!

I had to post today! Cos it happens once in 4 years!!!! haha. So cool!!!!! Apart from that i don't really feel like writting anything. My week has been alright. Work is getting very challenging and fulfilling! Studies is still a work-in-progress. Oh all i have to say is that Zouk is closed on Thursdays and MOS music is not for me at all!!!!!

Leap With Joy!!!!

2008-02-25T22:26:00.002+08:00

Lame????

It’s a Monday! And i just got back from tuition and the doctors. The clinic was more like a zoo than a medical facility. First there was this boy, probably 5-6?, he was so darn noisy la!!!! He ran around and kept messing around the magazines. When he finally decided to settle down, he started reading his book aloud - he went "DOES PANGUINS HAS FURS????? NO!!!!!! POLAR BEARS HAS FURS. MOMMY MOMMY, THIS IS NOT A BEAR IT’S A POLAR BEAR." Then he went on to ask if Penguins HAS spikes or if penguins HAS hide, or if penguins HAS shell. At the same time his mom kept correcting that little devil to change his HAS to HAVE!!! Naturally, i was changing his grammar in my mind too.
I wasn't that affected, but i really pitied this girl, about 17-19, she was totally down with food poisoning and she stared at that kid with eyes that could kill!!!!!! ahaha. I just couldn't understand why his mom didn't stop him!!!!
But yeah, i waited 45min to get my consultation and medication. I'm down with a bad throat and cold. I would've survived without the medication but i thought that i better get well soon. 'Cos this week is the week i begin my preparation for the Jun exams and i really don't want anything to hinder my start.
EPL was so crazy last weekend. Firstly there was the last min Ars Birgh draw, then the 5-1 thumping of Newscastle by Man Utd and Spur's victory over Chelsea in the League Cup Finals. But above everything else, the tragic accident of Eduardo. Poor guy man, he almost had his whole foot ripped off by Taylor. The incident made me consider not playing Football ever again man. I sure hope he is able to recover and pay again. We respect you dude!!!!!

I Still Walk Lei!!!

2008-02-22T16:06:00.002+08:00

Tears Gone Cold

The day that i've dreamt so many times before has finally arrived. But the strange thing is that i think i cried more during my dreams than i did today. Such pain only gives me more strength. It has been 21years of tears, i think i've dripped my last drops.

I Wonder Why?

2008-02-19T20:59:00.003+08:00

The Flash

Today was the first day of work. And i was late!!!!!!! hahahahahhaa. Work starts at 9 i woke up at 8.45! woohoooo. My usually trusty phone just didn't wake me up. sigh. Oh well, i took 1min to bathe, another min to dress up and one last min to pack my stuff. Within 5 min, i was outta the house. haha. I ran all the way to the main road, and with God's Mighty hands, i got a cab almost instantly.
The cabbie was like "Working?" and i was like "Yeah, first day. And work starts at 9." And he was like "HAHA, Sir, u're gonna be late!!!!." In my mind i was thinking "Yeah, tell bout it". Luckily, nah i would say all in God's hands, the cabbie told me not to worry and that he knew a short-cut. So we managed to weave past the morning rush-hour and got to my building in about 15 min. I quickly thanked him and rushed to my office. And boy was i relieved to hear tht the person that was supposed to be in-charge of me wasn't there yet!!!!! haha. Heng ar.
During the cab journey, the cabbie asked what was i doing? And i said "Accountant". He said that i must be very smart. haha. So pai seh la. But it sounds kindda cool to be labbelled as an Accountant. *am chio* (smile in the dark!)
Oh well, looks like i gotta reshuffle my schedule slightly to accomodate my job.

When You Say Nothing At All

2008-02-19T00:07:00.002+08:00

Blessed Week

It has been a good few days.
Firstly, CS had a safe trip to Australia. Sent him off on Sat. His flight got delayed by 3 hours!!! Almost couldn make it for Tong's B'dae be'cos of that. But with a little splash of Taxi money, i made it happen. haha. And at night, me and kenneth got back in time to watch FA Cup 5th round ties. I was so worried for Man U. They just lost the week before and they were facing a super on-form Arsenal. But as they always say, "The Ball Is Round", lady luck was just on our side. U go Red Devils!!!!!!
Sunday i played my first match for the Bishan Arsenal's. (talk about irony) I was going for a position i'm really not too comfortable with, at Right Back. Though idid make a fatal mistake. haha. But i think i learnt alot from the game. My second half was much more relaxed and confident.
And today, i was super anxious cos knew results would be out!!!! Officially it was supposed to be local time at 12 mid-night. But from experience i know they'll release it earlier. So from 1pm i started checking. At bout 2pm it was there!!!! Oh my goodness, my heart was pounding so super duper fast!!! haha. When i opened the email, i didn't even dare to scroll down.
I was expecting to fail Financial Mgt and if i was super suai, Auditing also. So i slowly scroll to reveal my first paper, the only one i was confident of passing, the Reporting paper. I got 64 - i was like, "oh no, my best paper and i only got 64." Curiousity got the better of me and i cldn wait any longer, so i just revealed the rest of the results at the same time.
I was screaming man!!!! haha. I got 72 for Auditing and 67 fo FM. LIKE WHAT'SUP WITH THAT?!!!!!! haha. The paper where i skipped all the classes i got the highest and the paper where i thought i didn't even do enough marks, i passed!!!!! WOOHOOOOOOOOO. So happy!!!!!!!!!!
But i think it's God's grace really. He works in ways you can never understand. HE can make an impossible situation seem so simple!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!! and thank you mom for all your financial support. I remembered i almost didn't even get a chance to go for the classes if not for mom rushing down to make payment!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU.
Now its off to finishing my Oxford-Brookes project to get my first Bachelors!!! WHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. That'll be anoter few months. But I'm just so happy i can finally clear my books away. (You see, i was so afraid that i would have to re-take the papers that i didn't dare move my old notes and just kept them on my cabinet. But now i can throw them away!!!!!)

Suddenly I See!!!

2008-02-12T00:31:00.000+08:00

Meaningless

My collection of Red-packet is the worst of my 21 years of existence!!!!! I collected RM170 (Conversion rate being 2.2, its equivalent to S$77) and S$62. Which means i only have S$139 worth!!!!!!?? Oh my goodness. haha. Not that i are that much. I always envy my other friends who can get like 500-800 for CNY. Its like, "does your mom need a God-Son????? 'Cos i sure as crap can use that amount of money!" goshhhhhhhh.
Oh, did i mention that out of the RM170, 100 came from my smallest uncle!!!!! haha. *respect* But i really admire him alot. I'm practically molding myself to be the next him.
Results will be out next Monday. Oh my goodness. *lup dup lup dup* Please dear God, have mercy on my soul!!!!!!! haha. And its V-day on Thurs!!!! Wha seh, its 3 in a row. haha. Lonely, i'm Mr. Lonely.......
I need to let all my feeling out!!!!!! This is torture. Its like coming home but yet you're not home. IF only i can just leave everything behind and go to somewhere foreign. CS pack me in your luggage please!!!!

I Can't Seem To Get U Outta My Mind.

2008-02-10T01:34:00.000+08:00

Something Happened.

That was 4 days ago. And life still goes on.
Just got back from Kenrick's 21st! Happy Birthday dude! Haha, knwn this bugger for 8 freaking years. long long time man. Sorry we ripped your undies. It was Nelson la, he was the one who stepped and pulled at the same time.
I went there straight after coming back from Malaysia. Oh, and my hp died on me during the 2hrs custom's jam. That's why i couldn pick up any of the calls or receive smses for the whole day.
CNY was fun! I love going back to my Malaysia home-town. Life is so simple and care-free over there. And we're gonna meet again on my Mom's birthday! 'Cos one of the relatives is getting married. And be'cos of that, everyone started asking when is it my turn!!! haha. All the previous generation has tied the knot, so it's he next gen's turn! And i'm leading the front.
I really need a break. Its too much crap in too little time. Or rather, too awkward a period of time. I need to just travel somewhere foregin - and live a seperate identity for awhile. I hate this. I simply hate it.

Death.

2008-02-04T00:46:00.000+08:00

Friends

Especially the ones that we call our "Best Friends". They're a special bunch of people. Life would be, safe to say, meaningless without them.
They say that friends are gifts from God. And i think my Father has been very very kind to me. Throughout my 20 yrs of life, I’ve got to know many great people and most importantly made many close friends.
My first real Best Friend was probably when i was in church in my super young and rascal days. haha. Mr Tan Cheow Sheng. Wa'sup bro?!!! We were the team man. Did all the rubbish together and caused some major mayhem wherever we went. He was always the good-looking one. And while I lacked the looks, i made it up with my socializing talents. haha. Even after we left for our separate routes, i still look back and am grateful for all the times we shared together. And now, it’s yet another turning point in our friendship where he'll be leaving for Aussie land very soon. All the best man!!!! And behave over there ya, the white chicks can get a little wild eh! haha. Remember you got Jiayan!!!!!!!
I didn't really made close friends in all my schools. Yeah, we hung out and did all the crazy stuff. But its just not those where you shared your deepest darkest secrets with. haha. But i have to say, my most fun years were in Secondary school. My class, especially the graduating one, will always be one that i'll treasure and never forget.
As much as i didn't make much close friends in my schools, in my later years, i did find a few good men. haha. I remembered the time during sec 1 when me and Hendric was super close. Apparently we thought we were from the same kindergarten. haha, "apparently". But it didn't last too long, 'cos i was pretty much school and home and school and home and nowhere else. haha.
Then in Sec 3, we had this foursome going on. haha. Me, Chu, Terrence and Dominic. That was extremely fun too!!! Chu was the ultimate joker!!!! His English is simply the best. haha. I think we can all remember how he pronounced "Dumbledore" and sent us all into a fit of hysterical laughter!!!! Even up to no i still love their company, just that now there's only the 3 of us.
While in church, i also had a little circle of brother-hood going on! It was Me, CS, Ash, Xuefeng and Meng Yang. We had a terrible amount of fun too. I guess some of them grew into the next stage of life and our paths were no longer the same. But we still meet up once in a while. And i think the noise that we create is still as loud as before!!
And as i went to JC, well.... Let's just say i didn't enjoy my 2 years very much. haha. AJ is just not my cup of tea, its a good school mind you, just not my niche. But fortunately there were a bunch of friends who i was able to ride it out with. The first one was probably Kok Hong, haha simply 'cos he stays just 2 blocks away. I had NO choice!!!!! haha. But he's a great friend. Always there to make you laugh and support you blindly!!! Then as i began my super slack lifestyle, i found 2 others who wanted to do exactly the same - Mr Ryan and Mr Fookai. haha. We slacked and wasted our years away together! Only closer towards the A's dd i rally get to know FK 'cos we studied together almost every day.
The most memorable was when i went to his house and studied fo 1 whole day!!!!!!! Literally 24hrs. haha. Though there was alot of MUonline in the middle. haah. At least we managed to produce a miracle in the end. (trust me, when u got OFF for your prelims, even your teachers will give up on you. But hey, i got into Uni didn't i?!!)
AS i transited to my Green days, i finally realized the need for true friends and the support they can give to you. Army really sets you thinking about your future. I got me wanting to study again!!!! So i guess there's some good in that dreadful place.
And now, though i want to be close to everyone, i found out that it's just not possible. You just don't have enough time to keep everyone happy. And sometimes, when your paths no longer cross, you should just let it go and carry on with life. As much as you should treasure everyone around you, there are those special few that warrant more attention from you. 'cos you know that your love will be reciprocated by them.
Although i don't know what the future holds, i thank God for the 4 people that i hold most dear to my heart now. I'm not sure if we'll stay as close in the future, but for now, all i know i that we're having a whole loads of fun together!!!!

K R R K - the special 4.

2008-02-03T19:47:00.000+08:00

I Miss You

Slept the entire day!!!!!! And it was good, very good. haha. Next week is Chinese New Year already!!! My deepest apologies to those who has invited me to CNY parties. 'Cos i won't be in town during the festive season. Its tradition that i celebrate it back in my hometown. You guys enjoy!!!!
Man Utd drew ytd. That sucked. haha. But it was very fortunate that we even got a point. Tevez left it to the last minute! I shall go become a couch potato now. byee!

Too

2008-01-31T23:06:00.000+08:00

Weights

American idol has a lot of funny people!!!! haha. But those that can sing are really very good man. Can't stand that blond. The one that was so corky just 'cos she was in some American Junior Top 20. If ever a pictorial dictionary was made, her face would definitely be in the "B" category.
Today was a crazy 6 hrs of lessons. Haha, its my fault 'cos i was too lazy to go on Monday. It drains the life outta you!!!! Especially since i slept at 2 in the morning. And yes Man Utd won!!!!!! It’s a Ronaldo double again!!! He's crazy and on fire at the moment. I'll b pretty dammed if he doesn't win the Fifa Player of the Year... That's if he can keep this form up.
Tomorrow I’m going to run!!! haha. Been saying it like forever already. But it was an improvement this week. 'Cos i actually packed my gym stuff and brought my running shoes to class on wed. Jus that some last minute stuff cropped up. Oh well, tomorrow shall be the day i take my first baby step to my 40min dream!
Today is meet Ryan day. Haha, 'cos it’s a Thursday and it’s his off day. We played pool and ate at Carl's Jr. That place will own your sorry ass man!!! Unless you're still in your boom stage, don't Upsize the freaking meal!!!!!
Time flies - Its Chinese New Year next week and Valentine's Day the week after!! Goodness, then its results!!! *all fingers crossed* But the trip back to my hometown should be good for me. That place is ideal to just relax and do nothing!!!! 'Cos there's simply nothing to do. haha. But there will be super a lot of people 'cos everyone will be back and a lot of gambling!!!! Mahjong, poker, Tai di, Black Jack, Dominoes, the Chinese chess card game and many other funny ones. As usual, i'll be a very good boy and not gamble at all. Probably be playing a little fire crackers and just catch up with my Malaysia relatives.
As for V-day. Well, i have a date with P1. haha. From 2pm to 5pm. Then I’ll hurry back home and sleep so as not to feel lonely. Yes, that shall be the plan!!!!!

Hi, welcome to Carl's Jr. Get your shit and get out!

2008-01-23T22:48:00.000+08:00

"Eumenthol" Jujubes

Last time.
Omega.
Stop.
Gone.
Perspective.

Had a good two day break from everything! Watched alot of HK serials, slept quite abit and had meals by myself!!! (i actually bothered walking to Central to eat! c'mon be proud of me) Tomorrow is lessons as usual. I just hope results would come out faster! So that i can know which exams i'll be taking this time around. Then i can start studying!
I went to register for driving lessons again. First one starts next Tuesday. And i'll be working soon. haha. (i can hear all you buggers go "FINALLY!") Going to be an accountant's assistant - My mom's intro. Its very flexible so i'm able to take it up. Not sure what's the pay like, but i'm in it for the experience more. 'Cos i really want to know if this is what i want to do in the future.
I think like most of the guys from my batch, i'm hoping school would start soon. Its nice to have nothing to do, or even for those who work, i think its safe to say all of us just miss going to school again. I miss having friends who you see everyday until you get sick of it! haha. And i miss doing all the rubbish you'll do with your school friends. I miss going for classes and thinking "how much more boring can this get????". I miss having to study for exams and having so many friends who are stressed out just like me. I miss trying to break the school rules whenever the opportunity arises!! On the whole, i miss having a group of die-hard friends to sweat it out with me and actually calling myself a student.
Oh well, what to do. Its still so far away.

Herbal

2008-01-22T02:56:00.000+08:00

Hello Motto

Just finished a 5 hour session of clearing and re-organising my room!!!! haha. Now there's a larger space available. Wha, but its tough work man. I did it all alone. Gosh, my back feels like its breaking soon. The cupboards were the worst - it weighs a ton i tell you!
This week is a slack week. haha. I've no lessons on wed and fri!!! I'm gonna make full use of it to just rest and get some important things done. Top of the list is to finish my CNY shopping. But i gotta budget man, so outta cash now.
As i went through my stuff, i opened a box to find all my old letters and notes that people sent me. I realized I've changed quite alot. I had a good laugh or two at some of the contents. But somethings never change; No matter how long it has been, as i read it, it felt like yesterday.
To all those who are working, hang in there!!! Its gonna be a long weekend soon. So just suck it up for a week or so and we'll all make merry together!

Silly Cow

2008-01-18T20:35:00.000+08:00

Cloverfield

My house looks exactly like some scene in " Cloverfield" right now. Everything's messed up. My bedroom looks messier than it ever had been (as if that is even possible!!!). And everywhere i go smells like wet paint. Oh my goodness!!! How are we gonna clean this up?!!!!
Haha, my house just got a mini-renovation. Repainted the whole place. So they had to shift all the furniture here and there. Well, at least its over already. Now the tough part is cleaning up.
Its Friday already!!!! So fast. Soon it'll be CNY then it'll be V-day then its my Mom's Birthday then my Dad's Birthday then exams then SMU startS!!!!! haha.

I Remember The Times

2008-01-16T22:16:00.000+08:00

Everything I Do

They say the strongest kind of people are those who find joy even in the darkest of moments...

I Do It For You

2008-01-15T22:40:00.000+08:00

Only Fools Rush in

Can you guess the song?
Today was a changing changing day!!! haha. First, i changed my citizenship. And had my blue IC rendered useless by punching a hole through it. Den, i changed my name, now its officially "Gordon Yeo Tian Wee". Yeah. And In bout 5 days i'm gonna get my biometric passport!!!! woohooooo.
I feel small. Like a tiny man on a large large island. Getting a little dreamy also. Maybe its due to me listening to The Beatles now!!! Oh well, sometimes no matter how hard you try. There are just some things you can never achieve in life. I call them "The Untouchables". But that doesn't stop me from dreaming about how different my life will be if only......
I always wanted to be a Jedi. haha. Funny eh. Day-dream about how cool it'll be to become a lone-ranger and travel the galaxy! Sometimes i dream of being a soldier during the Medieval times. That'll be mighty cool too!!! Like all the Knights and Princesses. Saving the damsel in distress!
But its not to be. I live a far more simple and mundane life. I'm just me.

She Loves You

2008-01-14T21:42:00.000+08:00

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Today was a busy day. Went to Orchard in the morning to fx my phone. But they didn't have the stock for my key-pad. So i gotta wait for awhile.
Then i decided to go to far east to get a hair-cut. 'cos tmr's the day i gotta take my IC and passport photo!!!!!! haha. I went to browhaus after that to fix up to excess hair. (vanity is no longer a girl's thing!)
After which, i went for my 4 hour tuition session!!!! Sigh, how i wish school would start like now. Kindda excited to meet my new classmates!!! haha. Been so long since i used that word, "classmates". Do hope that uni will be an enjoyable time. Like those i had back in the secondary school days!!!! (definitely not the JC days, those were something of a torture.)
Fel made a bet with me on Sat. She said she'll give me $100/- if i get attached before the end of the year. haha. That evil fella!!! Totally belittling me.
But it actually made me realise that i don't really have much confidence in achieving it. 'Cos i turned it down. Maybe i'm just not ready yet. I don't think i'll make a good partner to anyone now. I'm way too lost - having no sense of direction of purpose. And i think i've caused quite a few tears over the years. Such that i don't feel worthy of someones affection. haha, sounds like a whole load of crap.
Bottom line is, i'm not sure of what i want yet. Oh my goodness, i sound pathetic. Pardon me. Its getting a little emo over at my place. haha. But i do miss that feeling, that "Fuzzy feeling" (as Jody likes to put it), of wanting to be with someone day and night. At the same time, i dread that feeling of being tied down and troubled when things don't go as planned.
What to do???? Sometimes i envy the olden days, where your parents decide on who you marry. haha. Makes it so much simpler. At least when things screwed up, you can tell yourself it wasn't your fault. But then again, Hollywood has made love such a beautiful thing. Oh how wretched the irony of life!

Like The Wind You Went & Left Me Astray

2008-01-13T09:18:00.000+08:00

Party!

Just got back from Jeremy's 21st party. So tired!!!! But can't seem to fall asleep.
It was a whole load of fun!!!! Yeah, with those bunch of guys, it's always fun. I miss the good old Sec Sch days. There is and can never be anything like it.
We basically played the whole through. In the end, we finished 2 bottles of wine, 9 cans of beer and 1 bottle of Jack Daniel's. (there were only 6 of us - Jeremy, Kenrick, Hendric, Daniel, Leon and me. And Fel was there too. haha, but she did'nt drink much) The highlight was when we started to play "Cai Quan". It was so funny 'cos i always seem to be the one who either opens or closes my hands at the wrong time. Such that the person wins be'cos of my movement. HAHA, everyone started blaming me, dumb asss. The worst was when at one go i caused 5 people before me to win and when it was only left with Ken and me, i won!!!!!
Then we switched to the ultra complicated "naming" game. By that time all of us were pretty high. Kenrick just couldn't think properly anymore. And Leon was so crazy that he wanted to open one more wine bottle. (Talking bout the wine bottles. We just cldn't open them properly. We had to press to cork into the wine 'cos the screw didn't go deep enough. And when opening the second bottle, the cork screw broke into two. haha. Daniel just doesn't learn!!!!)
Oh well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEREMY!!!! actual date's the 15th though. I'll try to catch a few winks. oh and Man Utd won!!!!!!! 6 nil man. good stuff

Thinking

2008-01-08T22:31:00.000+08:00

Hurts When I Think

The sight of you leaves me weak.
But if you feel like i feel.......
Haha, sorry some random stuff! Today was a very "piss Gordon off" day. Stupid new printer that we bought gave me a whole load of crap man. First of, i carried a whole 13 kilos of it all the way from Funan back home. i took the MRT man.
Then, i realised that my cd-rom doesn work so i had to copy the driver to a portable. And my hell begins. THE DRIVER JUST DIDN'T WANNA LOAD!!!!!!! It kept getting stuck at 98% la!!!!!!!!!!!! I tried for the good of yesterday and decided to just give up and try today.
So i woke up and called Xerox. ITs the most irritating thing. They kept transferring me to someone else. But at least the final guy was very helpful. His name was James. haha. (this reminds me of the joke, "Don't call me James, Call me tonight!")
We tried fo about an hour before the printer driver got installed. I was pretty relieved. But i realised that NOW the Scanner driver doesn't work!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I had to call Jame again. And it was another hour but this time even Mr Bond couldn't help. Gosh. I was doing this crap from the time i woke up until 5pm!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow will be a better day!!!!

Like The Wind.

2008-01-06T06:57:00.001+08:00

6am???!!!!!!!

Great i woke up at 6 in the morning and just can't get back to sleep. What the crap?!!!! Might be because i dreamt of me trying to run away from something. Dammit, i can't seem to remember the details now!!!! Wha, been having dreams for the past three days!!! (which is extremely uncommon for me, i usually have very peaceful sleeps) Let's see, on the first day i dreamt of ants, ALOT of ants, invading my room. And i actually used water to flush them out. Which is not a very good idea. (Cos your house becomes pretty wet, and even in dreams, my mother's nagging terrifies me!!!!) haha. There were MILLIONS!!!! Crawling on my bed and on me!!!!!!! I woke up with the "scratching my whole body syndrome". And the second day i dreamt of going to sentosa with my entire Europe tour group. And i distinctly remembered hearing my tour leader saying her catch phrase "CHOO SHENGS" group!!!!! ahahahahahha. (sorry inside joke.) We also had chicken rice. Was so weird. And yesterdays was just a blur. But it was the kind where your heart beats extremely fast and you were praying that it was just a dream!!!! Scary stuff man.
Yeah, what happens in the room stays in the room!!!! But certain things must share mah. Haha. Well Ryan, we rock don't we!!! Talk about ego man... Detailed is good!!! Shows I'm a very honest person. haha.*head ballooning with self-praise*
At least Man Utd won yesterday!!! I didn't watch though, i was feeling pretty "hot", literally. But i'm much better now. Rooney scored!!!!!! woohoooooo. Right, i might as well do some work now. Or maybe go for a run???

I Will Keep Going.

2008-01-05T20:08:00.000+08:00

Day Of Infamy

It was an unusually quiet Saturday. Had tuition from 1-3pm. And somehow, i didn't have anyone to go out with. I really wanted to go shop for bags today. But circumstances just forbid me. I called 5 different people. And all either wasn't free or just didn't want to come out. sigh, what luck right?
And to add to my misery, i was drenched. Not once but twice today. First was when i left my kid's place. Then next was in Raffles Place. Alvan needed some help in accounting so i went down to meet him. He was at Market Street building. And i just couldn't find that place. I walked in the rain for about half and hour and still had no idea where it was. He had to come meet me at Chevron Place instead. When lady luck decides to say goodbye to you, you sure as crap better prepare yourself for the worst.
At least i didn't totally waste my Saturday away, had a pretty good time just doing the questions with him. Eliz joined us after her classes and we had dinner at raffles city. Thanks for the treat Alvan!!! I wanted to pay, but he refused!! I will treat you guys back very soon. haha. Feel very pai seh when people treat me, especially when i didn't do much to deserve it.
I feel sick now. I think i caught a cold. My head feels very heavy. See,a bad day can only get worst. WORST WORST WORST. I wonder what will be next.
I have two 21st birthdays to attend next Saturday!!! Oh no, big dilemma now. Shaney's one starts at 6pm at Pasir Ris Park. And Jeremy's starts at 730pm at Down Town East. Well, if i rush a little i guess i can make it for both. You know how important 21st are. So i can;t jut choose one since they're both my good friends. The presents will pose another challenge. Sigh!!!!!! Hopefully it'll be fun though!!! Jeremy's one should be a cracker. haha. The whole St. Gab's gang should be there. Just like the old times.
What should i do now??? Maybe i'll just sleep. Goodbye.

Gloomy Day

2008-01-04T22:32:00.000+08:00

The Unforgettable Dream

Yesterday was crazy. Played PES 2008 with Ryan again. Haha. But this time we lasted only till 5am. Gosh, i was so sleepy in class.And to think that i still had to bring my sister to dental after class totally made me go bonkers!!!!
At least i managed to tighten my braces today also. Now its hurting like mad!!!!!! I even went for Youth Service today!!!! Like unbelievable right?!!! First time in i think a year!!!
But somehow i just feel like i don't belong there. Not that the people there are not nice. I just don't feel comfortable, always a sense of awkwardness when i'm with them. Even the sermon sounds weird to me. Maybe i'm just too old already. Seen too much of the dark side of the world. Such that the message sounds too simplistic and innocent to me. WHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. No, i'm not talking crap. I really feel this way, no offence to anyone. Hopefully God will direct me. And send an angle to me soon!!!
I enjoy talking to Ryan. We kindda think the same way and share the same misery at this moment. We were like going "man, we're two big fat losers!!!!" the whole night. But we did talk about some happy stuff too. We were imagining life in the future. When we've finally sorted our crappy lives out and finally decide to settle down with someone.
We were saying how we wanted our other halves to get to know each other so that we can have double dates and stuff!!!! oh how nice that thought!!!!
I really wonder who has God prepared for me?????? I guess, i must still continue wondering........

Your Scent

2008-01-02T21:04:00.000+08:00

Back to reality

First day of class, Business Analysis. It was ok. But super cold!!!! I was struggling to not shiver and tremble man. I think it was be'cos i sat directly under the air-con. haha. Better bring a jacket tomorrow.
I'm so quiet during class. haha. Cos i practically don't know anyone else but the lecturer. See I'm nice and quiet now. But everytime i tell people that, no one believes me!!!! And i need a new bag. My good old Deuter is just too old already. When i took it out from where it lay this morning, there was lizard droppings on it!!!!!!
So after class i went bag hunting. I was looking for a back-pack. I had enough of slings, its way too small and too heavy!!!! I actually found one, its Rip Curl. But for the moment i think I'll look around a little more. Maybe this Friday or sat!!!!
Sigh.. Its painful.

A Long Time Coming

2008-01-01T16:35:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 2008!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woah, time passes sooooOooo fast la. Its a new year already! I still remember this time last year. I kept hoping time would go on faster 'cos I'll be ording in Nov! And look at me now, I've been a civilian for 2 months. And i tell you, life seems so much brighter now! haha.
Just had lunch with my trip mates - Sheila, Jody and Clement. They're a real crazy bunch. I haven't really met any new friends for a long time. So, I'm thankful.
Oh and Sheila was so funny. She actually called to make sure i was back home safely. That's so sweet of her eh. haha. Though its usually me doing it to others; sure is a first for someone asking me.
Ok I'm gonna add another resolution. I'm gonna cut the vulgarities from m vocabulary!!!!!!! haha. that's a tough one. But I'm sure if there's a will there's a way!
Right, that will be all for now. Waiting for Jody to blog about the trip then i can just link you guys to it. haha. (so i no need to type!!!!! whahahahahahahahahaahaha) For now, an empire awaits me!!!!!

TO ARMS!!!!

2007-12-31T21:44:00.000+08:00

Resolutions

Traditions traditions. So let's get started shall we? What are my resolutions for the coming new year????? Here goes...
1) Do Quiet-Time on a more regular basis (darn't say daily 'cos... oh you know how it goes!)
2) Be nicer and more loving towards my family members.
3) Re-play my piano to a greater level!
4) Learn a new language (comtemplating between spanish and geman)
5) Finish my ACCA
6) Hit the gym regularly and be able to run 10 click under 40min
7) Learn to whip up some new dishes
8) Treasure my friends more!
9) Find that special someone who actually laughs at my jokes! (haha, kenneth we're the same!)
10) Lastly, to do very well in my first few months in SMU!!!!!!!!!!!
Not ranked in any order of merit. Except maybe for the first and second one which are priorities!!! No. 9 is pretty important too. haha. kidding la, i know it can't be rushed. It's just a humble man's dream to find his other half!!!

GOODBYE 2007!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-30T19:43:00.000+08:00

Hat-Trick

Just played soccer. Finally i fulfil my craving that tormented me for 2 weeks!!!!!! Ad it was a pretty good game. The start was horrible though. I played goalie - and today just wasn't a very good hand day. Let in 2 STUPID goals. haha. So i decided to play striker. and boy was it fun!!!! haha. I scored threeeeeee!!!! First was a flawless partnership between me and Kenneth and ended in a nice chip over the keeper. The second came when i played 1-2 with Jeremy the kid and just guided it to the far corner. woohooooooo. Oh i just remembered it was 4. The third was the nicest. It came from a Fahan corner and i out jumped the defender to head it to the far-post!!!!!! The last one was just a blunder from the defender. I intercepted his stray pass, burned him, lured the keeper out and slotted it to the back of the net!!!! Darn, i think i can be a commentator!!!! hahhahahahaah
I'm hungry. Haven't had much appetite since coming back from Europe. I eat like one meal per day. Gonna be very slim and slender. gosh, can you believe it??? its the second last day of 2007. so fast la!!!! I'm getting old man. (my deepest apologies to those who are reading this and are older than me!!!!! Don't fret, we are young at heart! ;p) I do hope 2008 will be a good year. Haven't thought of my resolutions yet. As if i ever follow them la. haha. But i guess its tradition to think about it. The human race is what it is today because of people who actually dream and follow through all the way!
As for 2007. I guess i was just hoping it'll pass by very very fast. Not one of those years that will actually go down in my book of "Eventful years". haha. But with very passing day, i know I'm learning to treasure everyone around me. Can't bear the thought of anyone else leaving me already. I love you mom and dad!!! and my sister tooo!!!! and my friends!!! especially the ones that really stuck it with me. And above all thank you God for never giving up on me. I know You were always there no matter what. THANK YOU!!!!

To a fine year and a greater one ahead!!!!

2007-12-30T01:23:00.000+08:00

I am Lindsay Lohan

Crap, Man utd just lost. sigh. kinda expected it. They played pretty bad throughout. Oh well, that's why we love to watch it so much eh. u'll never know what will happen.
One thing i hate most is when people mock at me when man utd looses. (especially those who are 18 nd above. who are supposed to be MATURE) I mean, what the hell is your problem?!!!!!! Do you find bloody joy in mocking me? Like "oh song bo?!!" or "Sorry Man Utd losers". So full of shit man. Can't you just leave it as that. Yeah we lost. so what?!!! Do you see me mocking YOU when your team looses??? I know how shit is it to see my team loose and i think that's enough punishment already. you really don't have to rub any more salt to the wound. Bloody hell. Right now i just need to play soccer and burn all these fury out!!!! Bunch of stupid buffoons. Can't believe that 20 year olds still can act like such idiots. Totally spitting on man who is already down to his wits end. Gosh, i am so freaking pissed now!!!!!!!
Oh well, its not the first time. I remember Kenneth used to do it. But he stopped after awhile. Which is why i treasure a friend like him that much. You see people, i treat my soccer pretty seriously. so don't bloody mess around! Same goes for anyone who try to have a dig at my religion, friends and much importantly my family.
If you don't actually agree with my pettiness... well, i couldn't care less. I guess its just principalities. But the thing is i won't actually like scream at you or give you a nice round black-eye. i'll just ignore you but you'll be forgiven the next day. haha. see i feel much better after letting it all out already. Maybe to others, it isn't that serious. so i should really look at things from their point of view. (haha. all my close friends will go "whatever Gordon, as if you care at all")
Well that was soccer. i slept at 10 am today!!!!!!!!!!!! Played PES with Ryan all the way. goodness. haha. how did we even keep awake man!!!!!!!!!! Proud of you dude. It was his first time playing. and at the start he couldn't even score a goal to save his life. but at the end of it he whooped Barca 4 nil!!!!!! (against a 3 star com) WELL DONE!!! And you are sure as h*ll ready to face of with your sister's bf again!!!!!!
Went for a massage also. Wha heavenly man!!!!! And most memorable thing today is receiving two Christmas presents! One was a Cologne from my mom's friend and the nicest cup ever from Ruth!!!!!!! haha. which reads - My Resolutions: 1) Go to SMU 2) Meet Her 3) Be nice to Ruth 4) Merry Christmas!
Haha, pretty creative stuff girl. Lets see, i will be going to SMU in Aug - so that's that for no. 1. And i always treat you very nice Ruth (all those in favour type "I") haha. And i had a wonderful Christmas in Paris with a bunch of wacky new friends!
Well as for no. 2 - we shall see how it goes this year. I've been single 3 years now. To say that i don't miss having someone to love and be loved would be quite a lie. But throughout this period, I've realised that love is such a serious and important gift that God can give you. So i shouldn't rush it and make sure that i find miss Right. 'Cos i don't think i can take another flopped relationship and "3" is really my lucky number. S i do hope that my next will be my last and my treasured one.

I kill you!

2007-12-29T07:19:00.000+08:00

Back!

Right, i was back on the 27th. Just didn't have time to blog. Europe was awesome! The food wasn't very good though. haha. But the buildings, the art, the scenery.... simply blown me off my feet! I'll blog about the trip another day. too tired.
Had a great day catching up with friends. Went to cut hair after i woke up and met ryan. Den ruth came along. We played pool at first. Soon after, we switched to Kbox!!!!! haha. "Since You've Been Gone" is a super high song!!!!! We were like jumping and just bobbing our heads crazy thrughout.
In the night we played mahjong at my place with kenneth filling in the missing seat. And currently, its Pro Evo Soccer 2008. haha. We've been playing since 2am till now!!!!!!!!!!!!! (oh, ruth and kenneth went back early. so its just me and the big guy!) Ryan is still trying to learn how to shoot properly. Finally a game i can beat him in. hahahahahahahahaha.
Can't imagine my friends who are still in London - Sheila, Tong and Clement. Gosh, they must be so tired already. Hang in there guys! You'll be back to home sweet home very soon.
Come to think of it, Singapore is truly a beautiful place. Its so clean and safe. To put it simply, its Home! I love my country!!!!!! hahaha. (i'll officially become a sinagporean on the 15th of jan! woohooo)
Alright, i need Macs breakfast now!!! tata.

End.

2007-11-26T11:11:00.000+08:00

Miklós Fehér

Sunday was a sick and rainy day. Literally sick. Was down with cold and a fiery throat. And guess what, soccer was CANCELLED. Ended up playing PES 2008 for the most of the day. (Of cos, i went to church in the morning first!)
Went for lunch at Heartland Mall. The Ginseng chicken there has no taste!! (might be that i'm down with flu though. Cos both R and K said it tasted like Ginseng) Met Fel in the hawker centre. Oh my, you do look stressed girl!!! All e best for the remaining papers and just keep looking towards the concert for inspiration!!!!! haha.
I woke up real early today! At 8am!!!! Well done Gordon! And no, i've not been wasting the morning away. I was studying! Finishing F7 pretty soon. Just hope that i have the mood to carry on. Not sure if i'll go see the doctor later.
Dinner should be fun. Meeting Gillian at AMK hub. Been awhile. Haha, hope i don't pass her my illness later. Esp since she just finished her exams. Oh well, wish me luck. Just 9 more days to exams!!!!!!!!!!

Sneaky little boy

2007-11-23T23:44:00.000+08:00

SPARTAAAA

This sunday, 3pm. Its no friendly. Its REVENGE. 1 goal seperated us. Not to mention an extremly "kuku" refree. haha. No offence dude. But it'll be different this time around. You can feel the tension building all through the week. Its a make or break game. We HAVE TO WIN!!!!! Crazy. yes, i think i'm going mad being alone at home. Very soon i'll start talking to my ball Wilson. And try to make a raft and sail down the Kallang river!
AHHHHHHHHHH. Someone speed up time please. Actually, don't i'm still pretty far behind in revision. haha. gosh. what is this world coming to. i'm home on a friday night talking to myself via this blog!!!!!!!!!!!
OH well, at least i still have wilson. haha. I think the heat from running fried me just now. I'm still feeling extremly thirsty and dehydrated. Wa'sup with the weather man?!! Hmm, what should i do tmr? Apart from studying i mean. sigh sigh sigh.
You shouldn't sigh so much. Mother used to tell me that sighing too much will make you grow older faster. (That was why is sighed alot on purpose when i was young! haha) Ok, that was pretty random. haha. i think i should just meditate. find my inner peace!

Hi, my name is Kenneth

2007-11-22T21:40:00.000+08:00

Twin Effect

Went to Zouk yesterday. It was fun, met Hendric, Kenrick and Daniel. And my family just flew to Shanghai a few hours back. So i moved everything to the hall to study. haha.
In the morning, i felt really lousy. But God showed me something. And i realised that i lead a blessed life. There is always a reason why God chooses to make me the way i am and why He makes me go through the things i go through. This isn't just some "despondent" talk. I guess i just took a really long time to realise it. I'm always trying to have things the way i think is best. But time and again I'm shown that He always has something better to offer. All that's left for me to do is to wait patiently and trust in him.
Quintessentially, the word is to have "FAITH". Like everyone else, i find it the most difficult attribute to express. To have faith in something that seems illogical and against the flow of things just doesn't click it in our human ways. Confusing as it may seem, God has proven me wrong on countless occasions. But yet, there will always be apart of me that will refuse to give in - It might just be what separates God from Man.
Life is but a long journey of self-actualisation and unraveling of the Divine truth. And i sincerely admit that I'm far from reaching the end.

FAITH

2007-11-17T22:36:00.000+08:00

USELESS

Went for matriculation today. Had to trouble dad to bring my passport down. haha. thanks daddy!!!! whahahahahha. But at least everything is done. I've decided to accept God's plan. Though it might not make sense to me now, I'm trusting Him. If he wants me to do this, then this i shall complete!
Oh gosh, I'm such a "hum chi"!! I can't go into details but I'm a big fat "hum chi"!!! haha. I had it all planned out. I even psyched myself up saying "This is it, the chance I've been dreaming of, I'm gonna do it, No FEAR!" But the moment THAT moment came, i couldn't even open an envelope properly, less strike up the prepared speech. It's been quite awhile since i was left speechless like that. But i somehow know it'll never come by again. When i'm 80, Kenneth please remind me that my life could have been so much more different!!!!!!
Oh well, lets move on. I still got 3 papers to sit for. haha. And tmr there's a match. And next Sunday, its REVENGE!!!! Stupid free kick and biased re freeing. I'll never forget.

Head-spinner

2007-11-16T13:04:00.001+08:00

McDonald's

Just had a lonely lunch. haha. And u guessed it, i had MACS!!!! ahahahahaha. ok, i'm goin a little crazy being alone in the house and all. But don't worry, nothing too serious. I still know where my nose and eyes are.
Today is friday. Which is very good. Cos tomorrow is SaturdaY! haha, i'm not saying it without rationale. Saturday would mean i get to interact with other people! woohoooooo. So excited!!!!!! (now its gettin serious, i think i'm mad)
I haven't shaved in a week. Nor have i clipped my nails. I look like a cave man. haha. So cool. Gordon the cave guy. Gosh so random.
Gonna study now. Later!

Talk, i talk back

2007-11-14T22:39:00.000+08:00

Samson

I strained my neck while sleeping yesterday. haha. i hate it when i get stiff necks. sure screws your entire day up! oh well, like i always say, life is still good.
Gonna study after this. I hope to finish F8 by tmr!!!!!!!!! Please God, help me not to procrastinate any longer. If only you were here, you'll make sure i studied. sigh.
Kenneth is love lorn! Poor guy. haha. i know how it feels man. And it totally sucks. At least you have your island wide driving to enjoy. haha.
And Ruth, if i directed the movie. Woohoooo, it'll be a smashing good one! I'll put myself as the male lead and Mandy Moore as the female lead!!!!!!!! yeah. U can be the little kid niece of hers. No wait, that sounds wrong. yucks. Bad image. hahaha.
Life is so quiet and simple now. Revolving around extremely mundane things. Routine i would say. Not too many new faces, but at least there's the faithful few that means so much to me. Maybe its better this way. We human are so ironic. When we're extremely busy, we hope for a simple casual life. But when we actually get what we want; you know what i mean.
Oh well, going to visit SMU this Saturday for the Matriculation exercise. That'll be the first time in a long time i'll be with the rest of civilisation. haha. its a pretty daunting prospect. Hope i don't meet anyone i know. cos i just wanna finish whatever is necessary and return to my cosy cave. hahahahahahha. (ok, cave might just be a little exaggerated) I need my pain killers!

Delilah

2007-11-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

Back

Right,lets begin with a little update shall we? Its been quite awhile.
Well, I've been escaping everything recently. That's not the best way of putting it. But its really tough explaining. haha. Lets see, I've been bumming around (oh, I'm officially MR YEO again. for those who are wondering. & for those who still don't get it, I'm outta army!), not studying much, not praying, sleep during service, still stuck with the addiction, sleeping a lot and basically not having a darn direction whatsoever. Sigh, someone safe me??
Well, at least i just managed to sit down and study for 2 hour straight. let's hope this is the beginning of another good campaign. Cos i really don't have much time left. Exams in 3 weeks and i only done half of F8, have no clue what's F7 talking about and haven't even thought about F9. haha. Ain't it always like that. When will i ever change??
At least my 2 closest friends are doing better. Won't name names or what exactly happened. But i'm pleased that life is treating them well. haha. When you're down, you really don't want the people around you to be down as well. It'll really suck, trust me i know!
I hate feeling this way. Ambivalent about everything around me, yet wanting something exciting to come along. Gosh, i've been like this for 3 stupid years!
I want a new start. I want to feel the urge to start a new day. I want to be blown away by something. I want that feeling where you just can't stop thinking of something, not in a nasty way, but a happy way. I want to smile and feel proud to be me. I want to look into the mirror and say "Gordon, you're doing great!"
Is it even possible? When all that lies around me is uncertainty?

-In your abyss of comfort-

2007-10-11T20:09:00.000+08:00

Unto the Lamb

I'm alive. Though much lighter now. haha. well, life is going to take a big turn in 3 weeks time! Good or Bad? I'll only find out in 10 months time.

Holy

2007-09-12T21:06:00.000+08:00

Work? More Work?

I officially announce this year's festival over! haha. It has been a good few days. At least i got ALOT of rest. So now, its back to what i do best. STUDY!
I've come up with a plan. Haha, hope it works! Within this last 50 days of my term, i'm gonna try and finish the first round of my studying. Then the remaining 35 days i have before the big exams will be used for doing past papers and extra reading. haha. Well, thats the plan!
Right, first off, Mondays - I usually have auditing on Mondays. So the latest i'll be reaching home will probably be 7pm. I'll rest till 8 and start studying until 11pm. Then, its good old bed i go to!
I have lessons from Tuesdays to Thurdays. I'll reach home by about 10.30pm. That would mean i can bathe and rest up till 11pm. I'll study till 12 mid and go to sleep then.
Well fridays, I end work by 5pm. If Kyle is able to fetch me, i should be hme by 6pm. So i'll rest till 7pm and then study until 12 mid.
Saturdays, i'll have tuition. All the way from morning 10am to 6pm. After that i ill have free time. Haha, guess i won't be studying on Saturdays.
For sundays, i'll have tuition and church until about 1pm. Then it'll be lunch with Ash and MY until 3pm. If there is nothing else on, i'll be heading home and studying from 4pm to about 10pm. (whoa, 6 hrs?!!! haha)
Yap, that's the studying plan. haha. so in a week, if all goes as planned, i'll have about 17 hrs of study time. That sounds not too bad eh?! haha. I hope to have at leat 6 hrs of sleep each day. I won't be exercising so soon. 'Cos i wanna let my injuries heal up first. The only exercise will probably be Tues, Fris and Sats where i'll go play some street or maybe even a run.
K, i shall go sleep and start my 50 day plan from tomorrow onwards! Wish me luck people! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY HENDRIC! haha.

I'll dream of the day.

2007-09-12T00:35:00.000+08:00

Green Means That I'm Happy. (No. 100 post!)

I just finished my first day into my twenties. haha. And let's say it was like a roller coaster ride.

It started out really really bad. I went to Malaysia bright in the early wee hours to renew my passport. Only to receive the reply, "Ta-deh IC, ta-bolleh make passport." Wha lao, i was so pissed la. Like frigging waste my time can. So i waited for my mom's passport to be ready. And i tell u, i had the looks of a killer.

Then, when we finally returned to Singapore, my mom went to SIR to renew her PR. And we had the response, "Sorry, we need your husband's IC to process the renewal." I mean, WHAT?!!! Two in one day?!!!! And it happened to be my birthday and it happened in two different countries!!!! Gosh, what a day man.

I then tried to call a few friends out, and none seem to be free. But my mom was real nice about it, she tried to company me as best as she could. But the damage was done. I was all ready to return home and sleep the rest of this horrible day off. It was like "an official worst day of my life man."

I thought to myself, ok, maybe dinner would be nice. We booked a place in Fullerton Hotel. Apparently the food there is superb. I came home and took a short nap. At bout 630 my mom called. And i got the shock of my life! My sister was having high fever (she had been attending her school camping trip) When i got into the car, my mom told me that we would fetch her only after dinner.

But i insisted that we went to fetch her first. (there goes my glimmer of hope, what have i done?!!) We argued for awhile whether we should eat first or go get her. I know my mom was just trying to make the perfect day for me. But i just couldn't take the risk of not bringing my sister to a doc asap. So there we went, all the way to Changi. Gosh, depressing - and i thought it couldn't get any worst.

But luckily we went to get her. Cos she was burning up man, 39 degrees. I quickly got her stuff and we went on a search for a near-by clinic. I thought that Changi Village would have one, but boy was i wrong. The closest thing they had to a clinic was a TCM Spa. haha. It was just ridiculous how wrong the whole day went up till then.

We settled for good old panadol instead to try and bring down the fever for the time-being. And decided to have dinner there, at Thai Shark's Fin. The food was pretty good, but my mood just wasn't. In the middle of dinner, Meng Yang called me and asked me how was my day. (i should have sensed something wasn't right, but i was just glad someone called. haha. So i didn't pay much attention) We rushed through dinner and drove back to Serangoon to get my sis to the clinic. The waiting time was pretty short but to collect the prescription took forever. sigh, what can i say - I'm having all the luck in the world.

I was so relieved that i finally reached home so that i can get the cake cutting over and just end this day! As usual, i took off my shirt the moment i stepped in. (which proved to be rather embarrassing later on) Dumped my sister's baggage and just collapsed on the sofa.

My mom got the cake out and we were preparing to cut the cake when suddenly my dad told me that i had friends at the door.

I was like... ?????.... I had no idea who was it. Then the all too familiar voice rang in. It was Meng Yang! haha. And i thought he came alone. So when i actually got up to greet him, Ashley and Cheow Sheng was there too!!! haha. (Now this is where the embarrassment set in, I wasn't too keen on showing Ashley my wonderfully sculpted body! haha. so i dashed into my room to put on my shirt again. And that stupid girl was laughing all the way.)

My day suddenly turned from zero to bliss! THANK YOU U GUYS! For everything. Even Jia Yan came too. Really touched to have them drop by. Could see they were all very tired from work. Except of cos Mr Tan Kwok who looked as if he just slept the whole day! haha. Ash was yawning all the way and i think Jia Yan was catching a cold or smt. Really a BIG thank you, u all won't know how much that meant to me. Especially after how horrible the first part of the day was, that made it extra special!

OH Happy Days

2007-09-12T00:00:00.000+08:00

Mommy!
Kok Hong the Bro!
My one and only pair of squabbling friends:

Kenneth & Ruth

The Noisiest Buddies i'll ever have:

Meng Yang, Cheow Sheng & Ash

2007-09-11T01:05:00.000+08:00

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

I'M 20!!!!!!!!! haha. And i'm really happy 'cos i just had my first birthday cake! I always like having birthday cakes. I think they're real special. It becomes extra special when its home-made and comes straight to your doorstep!

Haha. So happy now! THANK YOU RUTH!

Gordon is 20!

2007-09-10T22:16:00.000+08:00

Last few hours as a teen

In bout 1 hr 44min i'm gonna have a 2 in front of my age. tat is so depressing. gosh. no more the good old teen!!!!! haha. kindda like being a teen. especially the 18 and 19 one. those two yrs were lk the best. u were not young yet not old. but once u hit the 20s, theres just this daunting prospect of facing the world and getting married. gosh, its so scary!!!! haha.
I don't wanna grow old!!!!!!!!! sigh. old old old.
its so funny this yr. so many ppl wished e bdae super early. like on sunday and today. haha. Gillian was terribly nice. she called to say she wanted to be the first to wish me. thx babe! Oh, and i got presents too! Poster and Man utd training tee from Ruth & Kenneth (can imagine the two of them squabbling over what to get) Man utd jacket from Kok Hong (and ash, its lovely, not ugly u tasteless person) Backpack from Ash, Cheow Sheng and Meng Yang (I sincerely love it, just that i didn't show it cos i was rather shy) And Asics runnign shoes from my MOTHER!! haha. so cool.
Ok, i'll go count down to my birthday now. Wonder what i'll do. maybe i'll go run. or just watch tv. hmm, i wonder. alright, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GORDON! haha

Vaude

2007-09-09T23:46:00.000+08:00

Terrible

Thanks for all the well wishes. It has been an eventful weekend. Though its not my birthday yet, but just thank you.
This year don't feel too special though. Maybe its just that last year was such a nice birthday. haha. Or maybe i'm just getting old. I don't really feel entirely happy the whole time through this year's celebrations.
I just feel so tired trying to organise things when everyone just keeps screwing things up. I mean, i do like having everyone come together and stuff. And on a normal occasion i really wouldn't mind that much. But its just way too much to handle this time. I really just wished that i could sit back and relax during my birthday. How i wish it were like last year. When everything was planned. Sharks i'm getting emo. haha. NAh, i'm not, just wanna get it off my chest. After this i think i'll just forget it as usual.
SO SIAN!!!! Hmm, maybe its my fault also. I should have expected it. I made a vow to myself that i'll never ever try to organise a soccer outing ever again. But special thanks to Yu Jie who came down despite his injury. REally appreciate it dude. And i vow never to get everyone to go out again. Bottom line, i won't care that much in the future. Why should i give a damm when everyone else does'nt. Screw it man, i'll do so much better with my one serangoon one kovan one tampines and one jurong gang. haha. (u know who u are) And my long time jalan bahagia fren! haha. Who after these years still actually give a damm. Darn it, when i'm pissed my English gets super screwed up. Pardon me. i promise that the proficiency level will return in subsequent entries.
Actually, it might just have been wrong timing la. So many ppl were tied down with their own BIG problems and issues. It comes back to this - The lesser you try, the less affected u'll be.
Its back to the upper tier pyramid now. Only the upper tier will matter from now on. The bottom can just crumble for all i care. (Most of u won't get it. But i doesn't matter. only the few will know)
GRRRRR i'm so sian now. i give up. GIVE UP!

Screw it

2007-08-22T18:39:00.000+08:00

Finally

The pain and blood has finally stopped. But i can't help feeling sleepy!!!! haha. Wonder if its the medicine or I'm just plain lazy. Gosh, how i wish I've already served finished. Then everyday will be as carefree and relaxing as today!!!!! ah well, just a mere 72 days to go. haha. It might seem super long to most people out there. But trust me, compared with the 666 days which i started with - 72 days seems much shorter now eh? haha. Can u believe it? I've been in for almost 1 year and 8 months; 595 days to be exact. Just 2 days short of 10 more weeks!! Just wish it could end sooner.
But like i always say, I've had it good here. Believe it or not, this was totally not how i pictured my green life to be. I had a dream. I wanted to do so much in this phase of my life. Alas, God had a totally different plan. Well, to actually compare whether my own plan will be better than what I'm doing now would be an extremely futile effort. I guess some things are left unknown and not experienced. It's safe to say though, I've no regrets as i look back to the days I've spent here.
As i pass my mundane life in the greens, i has made me realise much of life's finer mysteries. I've come to understand that no matter what predicament you find yourself in, there are always alternatives. You can either whine and wallow in your self pity, or you could make the most out of it. I know it's all too cliche, but you'll really need to actually experience it to know that these simple truths are so surreal. Thankfully, people that I've met throughout this period gave me the necessary encouragement and guidance that i so needed. But above all, the realization that God's plans are always perfect both in content and timing, carves deeply into my heart.
Right, enough with the philosophies. My time here has also shown me the lighter side of life! haha. I've had fun with both the guys and the permanent staff in my place. When they say you meet all kinds of people when you're in the greens, man they weren't kidding at all. But due to its sensitive nature, i shan't go on explaining my whole spectrum of characters that I've met along the way. haha
Oh who's that "her" that i mentioned? Well, all i shall say is that this person ain't who most of you all think she is. I'm still single you know. haha. Well available or not? That shall be left for another day into my life.

Normal again

2007-08-21T13:56:00.000+08:00

Thank You Jesus

He never seems to amaze me. Some of you might not know, but ACCA results came out yesterday.
Haha, come to think of it, yesterday was a pretty eventful day. In fact the past two days were kindda crazy. First of all, it was heartbreaking to watch Man Utd continue with their dismal effort at retaining the crown. I was all prepared to lose to City. But a part of me wished that a miracle would occur. Alas, my fears came through with the 1 nil defeat. But i shall not fret! No matter what becomes of this season, i'll still remain a true Red Devil fanatic!!! (Though i might complain quite abit, haha)
Before the match, i fought with someone. Well, not physically, u get the idea. Sigh, it always happens. I hate him but yet i can't. Hopefully something good will turn out of this. I'll just leave it to God. But at least i still have her. She's the most important person in my life. without her, I'll be a disaster today! So the cold war begins yet AGAIN!
I've been reading this book. "Desiring God" Not sure why, but i picked it out of the few hundred books i saw at the store. Its a rather strange book to say the least. Well, if anyone knows anything about Christian Hedonism, do give me a comment?
At 3pm yesterday, i went to extract my last 2 wisdom tooth. Gosh, it hurt like mad this time around. Partly because both the top right and bottom needed surgery to extract. Even now, its still quite swollen and bloody. (The things i do for **s, haha)
I was very anxious the whole day on Monday. According to the web site, it stated that the results won't be out till 4pm British time, in other words, 11pm local. But still, i went to check the site every hour the moment i woke up. I even turned my clock to British time , not sure of the rationale though. Haha. At 'bout 8pm local time, i checked the site again. And to my amazement, the link to the results was ready. Man, i swore my wisdom tooth was threatening to grow out again. Cos my heart pounded like crazy!!! I tried logging in and got through the first time. It took eternity to load. When the page finally loaded, i used my left hand to cover the contents. Then, i steadied my self and slowly scrolled and reveal the page a little at a time. I saw the first score - 69 for IS. Phew, not too bad i thought to myself. Then i just couldn't take it no more, i let go of my left hand to show everything. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I PASSED my law! haha with a decent 66. And the subject i studied most for was a joy in itself. I got 80 for Taxation!!!! yeah, i passed all 3 and all scores are above the required for my first class honors. haha. I quickly took out my calculator to check my average. It took me quite awhile to think, but when i calculated everything, Guess what?!!! Just by passing my next 3 papers with a mere 50, i'll still maintain my 66 average. which means i already gotten my First Class Honors!!! haha. wohooooo. Now all that's left to do is to pass my next 3 papers. YESSSSSSS!!!!! THANK YOU GOD!!! Its your mercy and grace that brought me through once again. I pray I'll never forsake you ever again. I LOVE u JESUS!!! and my mom too!!!!

Quietest 3 Days of my life

2007-08-02T23:13:00.000+08:00

Deny Your Carnal Nature

I'm getting FAT!!!! I must watch my diet since i can't exercise with my knee condition now. sigh sigh. Which also means that i won't be playing soccer for quite some time. According toa site, it states that i should rest at least 3 - 6 months. Gosh, that's way too long. Anyway, i'm yet to go see the physio. So, we shall verdict by next week.
Just got off the line wth Kenneth. It would seem that i won't be hearing from him for a week. Time to be a real soldier dude!!!!
Today marks exactly 3 more months of service. Nov 2nd 2007 is the day i'll become the happiest i've been in 2 years!!!!!!!!! haha. Till then, i'll pray fo time to quicken!

HUNGRY!!!

2007-07-26T22:59:00.000+08:00

99 more days!

Yap, finally down to 2 digits. But its gonna prove the hardest to pass. The feeling of "so near yet so far!" Oh well, can't say i'm not happy i'm finally down to my last lap.
Kenneth is gonna book out tmr. haha. He's totally excited to come out of that island and back to civilisation! Well dude, your race has only just began. Though you might not believe it, it'll really be over in a blink of an eye. Its' all in the mind!!!! haha. (sure is easy for me to say)
Been going to different places this week. It has been a rather tiring 4 days. But i prefer it like that. At least time passes by much faster.
I'm trying to change. haha, seriously speaking. I truly am. But sometimes, humans will always be humans. Its' just so difficult. Till the day i rid myself of the evil that surrounds me, i will never......

To my last days.